Thursday, August 6, 2015

Telling It Like It Is

((Note: I’ve been hurt by family/friends who feels it is super important to let everyone know how they feel…  so my feathers get ruffled and my own baggage is involved in this topic))

The proud tradition of ignoring how our words impact others… Telling It Like It Is

There’s a fine line between sharing your feelings and verbal vomit. There’s a time and a place for both but let’s not throw up our feelings without filters and suggest we’re just “Telling It Like It Is”…. 

While I believe we should speak our minds I think it’s acceptable in civilized society to use of filters when speaking to others:

1) The person can actually hear what you are saying and isn’t focusing on nonsense and the triggers your unfiltered words call up. If you actually want the person to understand your position you’ll want to do so in a way they can hear and process what you are trying to convey... use filters.

>>> If you believe Telling It Like It Is means you get free license to say anything you want you’re not concerned if it’s heard and processed... and I'd question what your agenda.

2) Hurting people for the sake of getting it off your chest is really just passing your negativity/hurt/pain onto others. So let’s not pretend otherwise. Filters are our friends.

What kind of filters am I suggesting?

You know your audience (or you should if you’re Telling It Like It Is) how can you approach the subject in a way they can process.

An example: When I have a disagreement with my love I start with:  I love you very much but... then I state my issue.  Why?  I want him to understand/remind myself I love him but this issue needs to be addressed. It also gives me perspective (crumbs vs love) so much frustration can be tempered (most times).

One of the speaking your mind checks floating around the internet is:

Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?

What you say and how you say it can be an act of kindness... or not.

Words matters. Chose yours with care. Think twice about verbal vomit before you spew.

Hugs, Z.

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