Thursday, February 20, 2020

Wedding Traditions from Around the World


February 21st I married the love of my life. In celebration of this I found some wedding traditions (I've never heard of) from around the world. Enjoy the video.



A Jewish wedding tradition is the bride & groom take some time alone together right after the ceremony.

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life.
Wishing you all love, romance and happiness always.
Many hugs, Z.

Thursday, February 13, 2020

DECISIONS




Sometimes I giggle when I hear someone saying a sub has no choices. Geez Louise, sometimes it feels like that’s all a sub has. Questions that need answers, and choices that need decisions all fall to the sub.

Some submissives feel once they’ve submitted there’s no other choices to be made but I’d argue the decision not to safeword is a one hell of a major choice. Submission to a Dominant or Master needs to be made on a moment to moment basis.

Maybe not consciously, but the sub is following their need to service. They are choosing to stay and follow instructions. They are exchanging their power and submitting.

NOT DECIDING IS A DECISION
This is true in life and BDSM. Sitting on the fence or refusing to decide equates to nonaction which means the decision is not to act.

The Longest Night is about a sub’s decision to take a chance. It’s about Benjamin not settling for something easy but for holding out for what he needs.

Excerpt from The Longest Night  by Z. Allora
He dropped to his knees and adjusted his position. When happy with his display, he settled in to wait.
The hardness of the carpeted floor kept him centered on his purpose— to please Foster. Time ticked by as Benjamin reveled in the knowledge that Foster told him to do something and he submitted to the demand.
Members of Entwined gave him a wide berth, but he could feel their eyes on him. Some must wonder who he waited on. Was Foster watching him? He straightened his spine a little more.
He glanced at the clock—7:01 and no Foster. Maybe he wasn’t a Dom who was into being exact about time.
Another check—7:07. Benjamin’s knees were beginning to ache. The pain turned him on.
Still no Foster—7:13. Had Foster decided he didn’t want to do this? Maybe Benjamin wasn’t pleasing enough? Should he go?
Every second seemed like an hour and every minute a day.
At 7:16, doubt ate at him. Where was Foster? What had Benjamin done wrong?
When 7:20 arrived, Benjamin decided he’d wait all fucking night if he had to. He’d be worthy of Foster. If Foster wanted to test him, make him suffer, embarrass him, whatever Foster wanted, Benjamin would do. He’d earn the right to go into the back room and bend over for Foster.
At 7:23, his cock decided to lengthen in anticipation of all the delicious things Foster might do to him... or might not.


In this scene, Benjamin makes a decision and waits for the Dominant to join him. He’s confused and upset but it is his decision to submit to the situation.

There’s power in personal agency. Benjamin decided to remain on his knees. Once he settles into his choice, he accepts everything that means.

Here’s the buy link for The Longest Night: https://bit.ly/2PlqSxx


Always seek your own truth.

I’d love to hear from you so feel free to use the contact information and touch base with me.

Many hugs,
Z. Allora

Thursday, February 6, 2020

Cleaning Routine for Better Sex


How does cleaning help you sexually? Well when you are more relaxed and in control most of us usually feel more able to let go... and being able to be in the moment.
There are many cleaning rountines out there. Find one that works for you or make your own.
These suggestions are from Cleaning Mama. I live by them for years but didn't know it was a thing. It's all about 5 daily tasks, 1 weekly task, and monthly to do's as you can manage.
"Start with the dailies:
Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed! Choose one of the dailies to do every day this week:
  • Make your bed
  • Check the floors
  • Wipe counters
  • Pick up Clutter
  • One load of Laundry
Once you’ve mastered just one of the tasks, add a second task until you’ve mastered two tasks in your daily life. You’ll be surprised at how easy it is to add a routine when you tackle them one at a time! If you’re looking at this list and you feel overwhelmed, email me. I’ll help you walk through your biggest challenges so you can end the overwhelm, once and for all.
Then, add the Weekly Tasks one at a time:
Once the dailies are a natural part of your day, you can then add one of the weekly tasks. Here’s the schedule:
  • Mondays - Bathrooms
  • Tuesdays - Dusting
  • Wednesdays - Vacuum
  • Thursdays - Wash Floors
  • Fridays - Catch-All
  • Saturdays - Sheets & Towels
After a few weeks, you’ll look around to a clean home that finally feels manageable!" (Clean Mama
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCw54rchXf_JG9PWHyReMJCA)


Let me know if a cleaner space = better sex.
Hugs, Z.

Thursday, January 30, 2020

Cleaning Motivation Video

I LOVE THESE... They help me focus! And I learn new cleaning hacks... You might not know but I found Krud Kutter kicks baseboard dust's ass... in this video (spoiler) I found out how to use a broom to clean the baseboards... I'm totally doing this now!!!!

Enjoy!
Big hugs, Z. 


Thursday, January 16, 2020

Resetting Your Life for 2020


Everyone needs to do different things to reset your world. Here are some suggestions.


I'm currently in the process of doing a space reset. If you know me at all you can probably guess I might be organized. It's one of the ways I fight anxiety and it helps my go smoother.

You might want to give it a try. 

Hugs, Z.

Thursday, January 9, 2020

Cuckold, Polyamory and Cheating


Cuckold is a fetish for men who get masochistic pleasure in seeing or knowing their partner is having sex with someone else. The female version is called cuckquean.

Why would someone want to be cuckolded?

The intensity of being left out is what stimulates some people. Watching or knowing titillates the cuckold giving sexual stimulation and pleasure.

*Some people feel mental humiliation at having their partner have sex with someone else. The thought is their partner is seeking someone else because they are not good, virile or strong enough. This can feed low self-esteem or be just what the doctor ordered in terms of getting off. There’s a satisfaction in making sure your partner is satisfied even if it’s not with you.

*There are a few psychosexual theories that suggest the drive to reclaim their partner and compete with the lover their partner just had as too intoxicating to ignore.

*Some feel pride in sharing their amazing partner with others and humiliation doesn’t play into it. They are allowing someone to temporarily experience the joy their partner is sexually. The overwhelming joy when their partner choses to return to them also adds to the experience, reinforcing the relationship and the pleasure they get from sharing.

How is Cuckolding Related to BDSM?

Cuckholding/Cuckqueaning falls into the BDSM realm when the cuckhold is submitting to this experience because for their more dominant partner. They are agreeing to yield to their partner’s wishes even at their own discomfort (or especially because of that hurt). The submission and surrender to the partner’s will can’t be denied.

If humiliation is a part of this experience then that’s a direct link to a BDSM activity.

There’s an orgasm denial/delay aspect to being a cuckold. Their sexual pleasure is on hold (or at least not given to them by the partner) while their partner is giving that attention to someone else. Sometimes, chastity play and devices can be involved in these dynamics as well.

Voyeurs or lookers get a great deal of satisfaction watching their partners get off and get someone else off. The pleasure is not gained from participating but witnessing.

Of course, if cuckolding is occurring while in a BDSM relationship the terms are negotiated and guidelines are followed. Though this may not always be the case.


Polyamory

A polyamory is a relationship with more than one partner, but I thought I’d give us the Wikipedia definition so we are all on the same page for the length of this blog post.

“Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, "many, several", and Latin amor, "love") is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved.[1][2] It has been described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy".[3][4][5] People who identify as polyamorous believe in an open relationship with a conscious management of jealousy; they reject the view that sexual and relational exclusivity are necessary for deep, committed, long-term loving relationships.” ((https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory))

Polyamory’s focus isn’t usually on sex but a desire for love and intimacy with more people. It’s about wanting to see your partner content.


Polyamory vs. BDSM

Many BDSM relationships/novels can have elements of polyamory to it… though not all.

Some polyamorous relationships can have BDSM in it but it doesn’t relate to the polyamory status of the relationship. It’s about multiple partners finding love, but it is not cuckolding or a Master taking on another slave persay.

Polyamory’s focus isn’t about a mental masochism but a relationship with more than one partner. Each receives what they are seeking to be fulfilled.

Jealousy is managed in a polyamorous relationship where in cuckolding it’s (at times) the desire.


Cheating

Dictionary.com defines cheating as: “to defraud; swindle: to deceive; influence by fraud, to violate rules or regulations.”

Clearly based on this definition polyamory is not cheating. (And no one I’ve ever spoken to in a polyamorous relationship views it as such. There’s too much respect for everyone involved.)

With cuckolding it might be a little murkier because even though no one is being deceived or even violating the rules between the partners involved > it’s the perception of a breach of societal agreements that can tantalize some cuckolds.


Random Thoughts

I know at there’s some people who feel additional partners equates to cheating. I don’t judge though I simply challenge those folks to consider what’s right for you might not be right for others. Polyamorous people don’t see multiple loving relationships as cheating. I’d even suggest that cuckolding while mirrors “cheating” it is playing by different rules in order to poke at the concept of cheating to excite and satisfy.

Again, it seems to me communication and honesty is key to getting your needs met. Holding your partner(s) to standards you are comfortable with has the greatest potential to help you find happiness.

To me a happily ever after is when each person/character gets exactly what s/he needs.

Always seek your own truth.

I’d love to hear from you so feel free to use the contact information and touch base with me.

Many hugs,
Z. Allora

To contact Z. Allora:
E-mail: Z.AlloraHappyEndings@gmail.com
FACEBOOK:   Z Allora Allora
Twitter: @ZAllora
Dreamspinner: https://bit.ly/2Jv14r1