My opinion on this matter is based on a small
sample of women I’ve spoken to over the course of 10 years on about 5 trips to
Bangkok & a single trip to Pattaya (Ladyboy capital of the World). Many of
the ladyboys I’ve talked with have a different agenda than most Western Trans
women I’ve met.
Ladyboys want to sparkle, glitter and shine.
They strive to be noticed and want to be appreciated.
What Does The Term
Ladyboy Mean?
Someone born as a male who either desires to be
or wishes to look female. Some ladyboys want to have full affirmation surgery
to remove any trace of maleness while others revel in the dichotomy of
retaining their original parts and energy.
Whether they need or want full affirmation
surgery is up to them. But some women decide to wait on surgery so they can
maintain their employment as a ladyboy in the clubs. Many clubs fire women who
have had affirmation surgery (top and bottom surgery) because they no longer
fit the definition of ladyboy (having breasts and a penis).
How Can You Tell A
Ladyboy From A Woman?
Ladyboys are women… I want to say period end of
story but that won’t foster understanding.
Some articles will tell you to rely on physical
markers: height, larger hands and feet, large breasts and gorgeous appearance.
But for me the shell of our bodies rarely tell us anything about the person. I
tend to look beyond to the essence of the person. The ladyboys I met and
watched perform have an energy that was magical. They embraced both their male
and female energies. Some allowed both to reside within them and in others the
male energy has vanished. But within any group there are individuals so you
can’t paint everyone with the same brush.
In Illusions & Dreams I shared two
characters both of whom could be seen as ladyboys from the standpoint of Thai
culture (if not the club rules). Boon-nam is all girl. She’s sweet and adorable
to the extreme. Boon-nam craved affirmation surgery (complete top and bottom
surgery). Her outside needed to match her inside so she could live a happy and
full life. Her best friend Lalana is completely different. She is elegant and
feminine but she retained all of her parts and resisted any suggestion of
surgery beyond breast augmentation. On occasion she allows the small part of
her that retains male energy to come out. She enjoys using her strength to pin
her lover against the wall and at times in her own mind she thinks of her
clitoris in male terms. She’s proud to be a ladyboy and won’t be changed by
anyone.
Trans-oriented
People have sexualized ladyboys and transgender people... and sadly still
do. It’s not surprising people hesitate to say they fancy ladyboys or someone
who is transgender over the cisgendered (someone who is the gender matches
their body). People automatically assume
the person is looking to get off on someone they fetishize. The censure someone
who is trans-oriented receives almost guarantees to lock him or her into a
closet where only his or her baser needs can be fulfilled. Some people are
simply attracted to individuals who find this unique dichotomy of male and
female energy. And yes there’s a sexual component to being trans-oriented the
same way there is to being gay, straight, bi but as with any orientations
that’s not the only enticement to find someone who calls to you.
I hope we open the trans-oriented closet door
soon. The more we accept ourselves and others… the happier this world will be.
In case you want to have some Bangkok adventures yourself without getting on a plane you might try:
Hugs, Z.
