Thursday, May 31, 2018

Autoerotic Asphyxiation & WTF Does This Have to Do with a Hot Rocker Romance?

Autoerotic asphyxiation can be a dangerous sexual practice especially when alone. It can heighten sexual pleasure, and was once a long-ago treatment for impotence. I read one FBI report that 500 to 1,000 Americans die each year due to breath play gone wrong.

In 2009, I was living in China watching videos of hot rockers on YouKu (Asia’s version of YouTube) when I stumbled upon while X Japan. They had the look of my fledging rocker plot bunnies that had been eating my brain. The talented Yoshiki fascinated me, but the pink haired wild Hideto Matsumoto drew me in.

Within minutes of finding Hideto Matsumoto and giggling at his crazy antics with other band members, I was sobbing. He died with a towel wrapped around his neck attached to his Tokyo apartment’s doorknob.

His death haunted me. I kept asking why? No answers came other than I wished in my heart that things had been different for this lovely man. It broke my heart. I’d lost Hideto Matsumoto before I knew I adored him. Now I will always miss him. The concept hung over me until it worked itself into the story I had been working on: The Great Wall.

Styx Wong is in love with his best friend Jin Lan though he’s so deep in the closet he doesn’t even know there’s a way to get out. (That’s how I found many parts of Asia though that’s changing with Internet access).

To quote a friend from Suzhou: “There is no gay in China. That’s a Western concept.”

Unfortunately, Styx has bought into this idea and his feelings for Jin Lan are more than unacceptable they are simply impossible. He cannot be in love with another man.

Styx’s solution is to take a cocktail of strong medications to help numb and separate himself from this uncontrollable need to be with Jin. In China, you don’t need a script in for medications, you simply go to the pharmacy and buy them.

The side effects cause Styx to seek relief through autoerotic asphyxiation. You can imagine what occurs… but this time I can save him. This time there’s a second chance at life… the only question is will Styx take it? 

Excerpt of The Great Wall:
Darkness encroached.Styx tried to loosen the towel, struggling to remain conscious, but he couldn’t.Before the blackness descended, bitter regret crashed over him. His life would end before he’d lived it, before he explored the connection with Jin.
His pathetic life played out, fingers fumbling uselessly against the stuck dowel.... Maybe Jin might have returned the affection, but now he’d never know.
Anguish rushed to the forefront, and every unseized opportunity mocked his fading existence. He hated that he hadn’t taken any of the opportunities to find a bit of happiness. He would die having buried who he was, who he could have been... who he’d never be.
“No! Please, Styx!”
The screaming drifted to Styx from far away, the familiar voice barely penetrating his disoriented mind. Someone shook him until his teeth rattled. Didn’t the shaker understand he wasn’t one of those colorful cocktails at a bar?
He tried to speak, but nothing came from his dry mouth. Opening his heavy eyelids, he saw Jin peering into his face.
Styx had always wanted Jin, but what was Jin doing there? Not that he minded.
Was this his second chance?
“Styx! Oh no! I don’t know what I’m doing. I only watched the safety movie on how to do this.”
Styx wanted to comfort Jin in his panic, but his body wasn’t working. His eyes slid shut.
The towel had been untwined from his neck, followed by heavy, rhythmic pressure on his chest. Jin touched his face. “I think I’m supposed to do this?” His mouth covered Styx’s.
Oh, Jin’s soft lips pressed against his.The lips were real, not like his wishes and dreams. Styx’s heart raced.
What the fuck? Why was Jin blowing in his mouth? Why didn’t Jin know how to kiss better?
Styx tried to wrap his arm around Jin’s waist, wanting to pull him close. When Jin blew into his mouth again, Styx angled his head, opened his lips, and kissed back. His tongue followed his natural reaction and licked into the mouth of his dreams.
His attempted kisses muffled Jin’s moans, and the floaty, happy sensation evaporated.
“Oh, Styx!” Jin squirmed away.Damn! Styx’s arms flopped to his sides.Jin disappeared and said, “He’s in here.”Styx wanted to make everyone aware he was ne. If only his eyes would stay open. Exhausted and with his head throbbing, maybe he should sleep for a bit?
Before he could, someone lifted him onto a bed and covered his naked body. The bed had wheels, because Styx moved and bumped over the threshold as he exited the apartment. Where was he going?
“I’m right here, Styx.” Jin’s hand clutched his.
Oh, well, it didn’t matter where they were going as long as Jin was with him.
“They’re going to x you, Styx.” Poor Jin still sounded upset.
Styx longed to make Jin feel better, but when he tried to open his eyes, he failed. He twitched his hand.
Jin, as usual, knew exactly what he wanted and locked their hands together.
Yes! Styx squeezed, but Jin’s hand was snatched away from him. No!
Not sure how much time had passed, he woke to Jin’s voice. “We’re headed to the hospital. They’ll make you better.”
He clasped his fist hard to let Jin know he heard him.
“Oh, good. Okay. Everything will be ne. Not letting you go.” Jin’s voice sounded watery. Styx tried to open his eyes again but lacked the energy. “Not letting you leave me, Styx.”
He wanted to tell Jin he would never willingly part from him, but he was dragged back to the peaceful dark.


The Great Wall Blurb:
Destiny will be decided by a battle between heart and mind….

Jun Tai “Styx” Wong loves two things: playing the drums and his best friend, Jin. But being a good Chinese son means he can’t have either—he’ll have to marry a girl of his parents’ choosing and settle into a traditional job. His move to the bigger city of Suzhou is both a blessing and curse, as living with Jin makes it harder for Styx to suppress his desires. Nearly dying while trying to eradicate his feelings serves as a wake-up call for Jin, who takes extreme measures to keep Styx safe from harm.

When given a second chance at life and happiness, will Styx be able to claim the future he wants with Jin, his bandmates, and his music? Can love and hope grow with the constantly looming threat of Styx’s parents ordering him home? Great things await—if Styx finds the courage to break down the wall that stands between him and everything he wants.


Thursday, May 24, 2018

Where Inspiration Comes From...

I'm working on Rocking Thin Ice.

Actually well before there was Yuri on Ice there was this video that lit my imagination.


What happens when a skater and a rock star get together? How does that happen?

Blaze Parker & Drake Keys have lived in for about 3 years patiently waiting for me to write them. I started working on their story in March. I"m currently on Chapter 7.

I may even be hitting the ice (hopefully not with my backside) soon. I was raised in Upstate NY > insert freezing cold winters. I started to skate when I was two. I adored gliding over the ice like I was flying. So I'm looking forward to sharing my love of ice skating with you... and well, you already know of my love for rock stars.

Many hugs, Z.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Lijiang China

This was one of my favorite trips we took in China to the Yunnan Plateau. 
We had been living in China for 2.5 years. I was working and struggling with the contractors who were building our apartment in Suzhou. This vacation soothed my frustration. 
The ancient town was simply magical! There was a rich cultural history, awesome shopping and a cafe culture. 
We LOVED our time there.

View from our pool

Every building was so colorful

Dr. Wu (He looked at my tongue and eyes and prescribed a tea)

The Banyan Tree

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words Interview Questions

What's the wildest scene you've imagined and did it make it into a story?
Um… yeah. Every single time. It started in With Wings my very first novel. I wrote a shared Fleshlight scene… and well from then on, every book I can point to something rather wild the characters engage in.
I think sexual exploration is part of character development and shreds light on the relationship the couple, triad or foursome has. Though we should keep in mind, one character’s wildness is another’s vanilla dream. In The Librarian’s Rake, my librarian is super uptight about sex and can’t imagine trying new things… so for him to have sex in the library is beyond his most wicked fantasies. Here’s a bit of his yumminess.

Excerpt from The Librarian’s Rake:
Phillip slid back a few inches, then thrust forward. “You’re so fucking hot. Getting fucked among your books. So dirty.”
“Oh, God!” It was. Filthy. And he loved being bent over in between two bookshelves while Phillip… took him.
“We’re in the romance section.” Phillip started reading titles as he edged his way in and out. “The Duke’s Ruse. Untamed Heart. The Librarian’s Rake. Hey, I bet that’s not about garden tools. Mmmm, I’ll be your rake.”

Ever drunk written a chapter and then read it the next day and still been happy with it?  Trust me there's a whole world of us drunk writers dying to know.
I’ve never written drunk but while jetlagged. LOL My lack of sleep and the disorientation of travel puts me in an altered state. So, if I write when jetlagged it feels like someone else wrote the words. Though I learned writing sex scenes while jetlagged puts me in the mood for a bit of exercise (nudge, nudge, wink, wink >>> FYI: sex is good to fight jetlag) but those scenes usually need to be rewritten because they are usually super choppy.

With so much going on in the world today, do you write to explain?  To get away?  To move past?  To wide our knowledge?  Why do you write?
I write (& publish) to promote equality and acceptance. I believe with every page we turn in LBGTQIA romance our understanding of gender, orientation, love, and humanity increase. I try to explore the edges and variations within any label that makes its way into my story. I want to emphasize the unique beauty in all of us and remind everyone there’s not just one way of expressing/experiencing something. I want to give information and understanding through my characters and plots which can translate into acceptance beyond the pages of a romance.

And I will admit there are times I also write to escape the terror and misery our world forces on us. We’ve enough sadness which is why my email is In my writing, there will always be a happily ever after and usually quite a few happy endings getting there.

What's next for you as a writer?
I’m hoping to share more of my overseas experiences. More sexy zombies, some hot rockers, possibly a couple contemporary novellas, and definitely some more BDSM.

The Librarian’s Rake Blurb
Opposites might attract, but is acting on that attraction wise?
Librarian Tristan Cooper can’t steer clear of sexy, motorcycle-riding bad boy Phillip—the man is hot—but Phillip is bound to and quiet, bookish Tristan boring, like all Tristan’s boyfriends. Tristan yearns to explore his wild side, the part of himself he’s only allowed into his fantasies, and maybe rakish Phillip is just what he needs to feel free.
Sexperienced hairdresser Phillip is more of a believer in happy endings than happily ever after. Experience has taught him not to hope for more— until he meets sweet, vulnerable Tristan, who seems genuinely interested in his heart. But Phillip can’t trust enough to see himself as a man Tristan might want for more than a night.
With the help of a pair of matchmaking grandfathers, Tristan and Phillip might and the courage to step beyond their comfort zones and discover what has been missing from their lives....

Buy Link:

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Animal Interactions

I adore animals. While I believe they belong wild I've seen the amazing things being done at sanctuaries: reintroducing more animals into the wild, caring for injuried/recovering animals, and education. These animal ambassadors help change hearts and minds.
At the Tiger Temple in Thailand I overheard a woman telling her friend she wasn't going to bring her grandfather any tiger bones because these creatures were too beautiful and she wouldn't encourage anyone to harm them.
I appreciate how much I've learned from my time interacting with the animals and their care givers.
Many hugs, Z.