(Jordon sits down and kicks his legs up onto the coffee table. He sighs then pulls his legs back and curls them under him.) You know a question I hate: are you a top or a bottom?
By the way, when your answer is NO the guys quickly disappear.
Let me explain. There’s a lot of pressure from society, porn, friends… your brothers—I have two older ones—everything and everyone paints an image in your mind about what sex is supposed to be. I meet a great guy, fall in love and apparently at that point I’m supposed to what to thrust my condom covered dick into him or have him poke his protected pecker into me. Seriously?
Argh! Can someone tell me why I should want that?
I get much of society still uses the Bill Clinton definition of sex and that somehow oral sex isn’t real sex. Handjobs, rimming, rubbing against each other… in other words none of the things I think I’d find delicious—if I were ever given the chance—are considered by many not to be real sex.
Who decided the only validate sex is penis in hole?
I mean I know lesbians aren’t down with that. My oldest brother’s friend Lisa would have something to say if anyone suggested what she and her wife have isn’t sex…. However, as a gay man I’m supposed to believe that anal is the only way?
And what really pisses me off is that… well I guess I kind of do. I drank the Kool-Aid. In my head, I know not everyone wants that! I don’t want that—There I said it—but in my heart… I know not EVER wanting anal is a problem. It goes against norms… or what a lot of people believe are the norms.
Of course, I’ve never really told anybody how I feel about this… well, except for my friend Robin and my best friend Gwen. They take being sexually expressive to another dimension but who else would understand? It is supposed be in a male’s DNA to want to fuck, so what does that make me?
Oh, I know some of you would comfort me telling me I’ll grow out it or I just haven’t found the right guy, but that’s just not true… at least not for me.
You have to know I imagined anal sex a million times. I’ve watched a lot porn… like PhD level studies of porn. I’ve tried things… off page I’ve used dildos but I just don’t find anal sex erotic. It’s simply not for me. Hell, I even had Z. write me a princely deflowering but I realized that wasn’t who I was.
By now I bet some of you are saying to yourselves, “It’s no wonder why I never really had a boyfriend.” (Sigh) Maybe it’s not just that I have two overly protective older brothers…. but that’s an issue for another blog!
But I swear if I ever had a boyfriend I’d love kissing, cuddling, rubbing off together, slick handjobs, and (Jordon fans himself) oral sex. Oh wow… I mean blowjobs look just so— I could totally get behind sucking cock. Sucking lots and lots of cock and dare I suggest I’d love getting my cock wet in some beautiful man’s mouth… that’s just—
(Jordon leans toward you) You know what I find superhot?
A guy who can blow himself. (Jordon waves off disbelief with a flutter of his hands.) No, really! It’s a thing! I’ve seen it! Google selfsuck. Man, I could watch those videos all day. I imagine myself sharing someone’s cock with them. You know trading sucks back and forth and—sorry I can get carried away.
Thanks for hanging with me,
PS I dropped a link on how to self suck... You're WelCUM!
The Temple of Heaven’s Blurb
Music is Tian Di’s life and his love, and he’s made plenty of sacrifices. His career is finally taking off with his band, Made in China, and he’ll continue to put music first... until he meets Jordon. Then insta- lust becomes insta-love and a commitment to the future—no matter how difficult it might be.
Jordon lives in a bubble constructed by his overprotective older brothers, who are so controlling that they’ve kept him from dating. A talented artist, Jordon managed to keep his success with a Japanese manga publisher a secret from his family, but now he fears discovery. It’s easier to let his brothers handle everything, but Jordon has reached his limit. He’s ready to draw some boundaries so he can be his own man and face all the challenges that come with that.
Their families and careers aren’t the only obstacles. Jordon must accept his identity as a gay man who doesn’t top or bottom. Fortunately, Tian Di—and his special talents—help Jordon open up to his sexuality in an erotic adventure that spans Japan and China, and with love, luck, hard work, and open minds, will end in a happily ever after.