Thursday, August 20, 2015

Asexuality & Pansexuality & Trans-oriented


Someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction.

Different than celibacy which is a choice.

The person who is asexual doesn’t feel desire to make sex part of their relationship with others BUT can decide to have sex.

((Some asexual people masturbate and have sex))

Gray Sexual: Someone who experiences sexual attraction to such a low degree or so rarely they identity within the asexuality spectrum.

Romantic Attraction/Orientation: Someone who is asexual may still want to form romantic relationships to opposite sex, same sex, and/or the entire range of gender. 

This video gives a brief overview and gives you a good basic framework.

Here's another resource:   Asexual101: Questions Answered



No this is not sexual attraction to pans. This means someone who can experience attraction regardless of gender or sex. 

Another short video you might enjoy!


Someone who is attracted to someone who is transgender. 

There's not a lot of information I can share with you because as Ms. Nina Arsenault (an educator in the video below) states most people who are attracted to people who are transgender aren't vocal about it. 

I do see parallels to the gay and lesbian communities of the past. It wasn't a safe option to admit sex same attraction let alone to act openly on it. There was little chance to explore a relationship beyond a quick fuck in the shadows. (Yes there were exceptions to this and my heart happy dances when I think of the odds these couples overcame to find love).  However, the sad truth was most of these men and women were not able to form attachments openly.

This same type of societal taboo affects most trans-oriented attraction. Relationships and marriage were/are discouraged therefore the only expression open to the trans-oriented person was/is sex>>>>> which reinforces the idea that trans-oriented people only want sex from the transgender community. 

I believe there are more people in the transgender stripe of the rainbow than actually identify as transgender (gender queer, non-binary, etc). These are new labels and people who fit into them may not even know they exist so can't/don't self-identify>>>>  therefore the transgender community sees them as THE OTHER (when they might very well be on the transgender spectrum).

At this distance it's easy to see the negative self-fulfilling prophecy that is being played out. Only through understanding and acceptance can we break this pattern. No one should sexualize the transgender community and we need to stop shaming the men and women who find trans-people alluring... to do so it extremely insulting to both parties. ((And I'm not discounting that there are some people who do sexualize transgender people and are only looking for sex... happens in every orientation.)) 
(This video focuses on guys who are attracted to trans women & allow me to warn you she uses some words that I find offensive but overall an interesting discussion)

One of the things I try to do in my writing is explore different expressions of sexuality. In Illusions & Dreams (categorized as a transgender romance) two of my main characters are transgender, someone who is pansexual (Jake O'Neil) and someone (Randy Camster) who thought he might be asexual until he finds he appreciates one of the singers at a club in Thailand.

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