Thursday, November 10, 2016

Sexism Internalized... and you.

What is sexism? 


"1. prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex." (Oxford Dictionaries) 

What is Internalized Sexism?

The involuntary beliefs that people assigned female at birth carry, speak and act on as if the lies, stereotypes and myths about people assigned female at birth are true and should be assigned to all women.  


Here are some types:

Slut Shaming
He's a ladies man, but she's a slut. 
"The shaming and attacking women for having sexual partners, perceived or otherwise, as well as having sexual feelings. Slut shaming occurs when someone “publicly or privately [insults] a woman because she expressed her sexuality in a way that does not conform with patriarchal expectations for women” (

Victim Blaming
"When we blame the victim, society allows the abuser to perpetrate relationship abuse or sexual assault while avoiding accountability for the perpetrator’s actions. When another woman we know is sexually assaulted, it’s really important to turn off that little voice inside our heads that call her a slut, asking her why she didn’t know any better or saying that we would never let ourselves get into a situation like that. That little voice is the toxic misogyny that we’re taught from day one and have internalized."   (

In order to "stay safe" much focused energy goes into where we park, where we go, what we where... It's our responsibility because we are living in a society that teaches women must do x,y and z instead of teaching people not to rape/assault/harass.

Not wanting to be friends with other women

Not like other women
"A “Special Snowflake” is a term used to describe other women who differentiate themselves from other women by essentially buying into sexist stereotypes. Oftentimes these statements are used to insult other women at the expense of being attractive to men." (

Women still make less than men
How and why is this still a thing. One guess is internalized sexism makes sure it never becomes a priority so it never gets addressed.

Society feeds us sexist ideas from birth so it's no wonder they are absorbed, ingested and put back out in society.

What can we do? 


Don't deny it's existence in yourself outright. 
When a friend nudge me gently and called me on it I was like "No way. Card carrying member of NOW I can't be..." I was and I am working super hard not to be...
So before you deny it look. You'd have to have lived in isolation not to absorbed some of this bullshit.


Usually our habit is ignore, or avoid... well, that doesn't stop it. Yes it's uncomfortable but it needs to be done (I'm afraid consistently) and I won't lie there will be censure... you might be seen as rude, but at the end of the day it's important. DO IT.


Recently this word has been twisted so it's become something it's not. Let's learn the definition so we can spread the word. 


"1. the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." (Oxford Dictionaries)

Just work on doing those three things and you'll be surprised at the changes.

(& yes the whole vague not feeling comfortable/liking Hillary Clinton>>> can we guess what some of that might have been? Not that there wasn't other reasons people assigned female at birth didn't vote for her, but internalized sexism & societal sexism played a part in the decision.) 

I'm aware this is a topic that is HUGE I've only done a tiny overview because I've been obsessing about this and it's impact on the world. I'm working to address mine and I hope you'll look at doing the same. 

Big Hugs, 
Z. Allora

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