I’ve actually always been open and I’ve made this proclamation a number of times in the past. I’ve gotten private messages on Facebook and in person that vary from: “Really? You don’t seem like the type.” Someone noticed, “But you and your husband have such an equal relationship.” I’ve gotten some, “Oh… I write it but I don’t do it.” A number of people thought I was joking and still others have scrambled not to respond to the notion I am a love slave.
In the past, I’ve had others tell me I’m too broken and have too many limits to be called a sub. This is one of the reasons I consider myself a love slave emphasis on love. I’ve seen, heard and gotten much invalidation in the past.
Of course, I’ve also been high-fived, people volunteer “me too” (which always makes me feel honored that they trust me with this piece of themselves), I’ve gotten “I write BDSM and I do practice it too.”
I guess I don’t live up to the expectations they have in their mind about what a submissive would look like or what they would act like.
Newsflash: You can’t always tell kinkiness by looking at someone. We don’t all look the same, act the same or express our submission the same way.
Last year at a convention, I attended a panel on BDSM. I was surprised some of people in the “lifestyle” seemed confused when other people explained how they enjoyed BDSM in a different manner. Sometimes we can get so deep we may forget others express their submission or dominance in ways distinct to them. Sure basics of BDSM translate, but there’s always unique ways of expression based the individuals involved, the relationship between the partners, the geographical location, the club/gathering rules and what the people in the “lifestyle” what to get out of the scene.
I used to belong to a dungeon, I’ve gone to munches (which are non-smexy gathering to meet other like minded BDSM folks in your area), and I've gone to sex clubs. So what? Does that make me part of the “lifestyle”? No, it was simply part of how I expressed that side of myself at that moment in time.
I put quotes around “lifestyle” because for some folks (for me) it doesn’t seem like a choice. It’s simply of part of who I am. BDSM need/fulfillment is one of the filters I see the world through.
It didn’t surprise any of my critique partners when I announced I was writing a BDSM book. Tomorrow: July 15th Lock and Key will be out in the world. I hope you enjoy it!
Rejected. Heartbroken. Devastated.
Zack Davis wanted to serve only one man, Andrew Nikeman. He was denied because Andrew thought he was too young and because their brothers were together. So Zack crushed his submissive tendencies and focused on being the perfect Dom, giving every sub he played with something he couldn’t have.
After years of denying his submissive side, Entwined’s charity auction “Are you Dom Enough to be a sub?” gives Zack an excuse to get a little of what he’s always craved.
Andrew doesn’t know when his infatuation turned into more, but it kills him to see Zack with a constant parade of submissives. He’d refused to jeopardize his brother’s relationship or become Zack’s regret; however, Zack isn’t a kid anymore, and his brother’s relationship is unbreakable. Now Zack’s popularity and success as a Dom might ruin Andrew’s dreams of collaring him, but he can’t wait any longer to confess his feelings or he risks losing the man he loves forever.
Ebook ~~~ Paperback
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