WHAT CAN YOU SAY?
You're horrified but is it your place... and if it is what would you say?
YES IT'S EVERYONE'S PLACE.
The same way I hope you wouldn't stand for racist or sexist jokes/comments I'd hope you'd stop or correct someone saying something homophobic/transphobic.
To quote the 17 year old who sat next to me in PFLAG yesterday: "Kids are dying because no one is speaking up."
WE MUST BE THEIR VOICE.
Back to the original question WHAT CAN YOU SAY WHEN YOU HEAR INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS?
Here's some suggestions:1) What do you mean by that?
It's simple and puts the person spewing stupid comments back on the spot. Usually it will end there... and yes it might be uncomfortable but not as bad as a kid hearing the negativity unmet with a response of that's not okay.
2) That makes me uncomfortable when you say that...
This works alone or after the jackass spewing nonsense decides s/he can justify her/his position. This is a simple statement and brings it back to basics... Does the speaker of hate want to continue knowing it's making someone standing right in front of them uncomfortable.
3) That makes me uncomfortable because I have friends/family in the LGBT community/ or I'm part of the LGBT community.
You only want to say this if you feel comfortable sharing this information.
Why Speak Up?1) Education
By taking the time and risk you are setting an example of what is acceptable behavior.
Within hearing distance they will feel supported and less alone.
By educating an adult you possibly help someone down the path of acceptance.
*** Keep in mind many people don't know they are spewing hate/perpetuating negative concepts/diaglogues***
3) It's the right thing to do
Sometimes silence is taking for agreement. You DO NOT want to agree with something against your principles.
4) You are giving courage to others to speak out.
Usually after I make such a comment others come up to me and say thank you. You're probably not as alone in your thoughts as you think.
5) Makes the world a better place.
I know not everyone is in a position to address each and every negative comment one hears but consistency helps set boundaries and raises standards. Do what you can.
Feel free to add your script of how you handle negative comments.