Thursday, May 19, 2016

Fuck You Cancer

Dear Cancer,

Fuck you! I hate you!

I’m not so cocky to think you won’t win in the end… pretty confident you’ll be the death of me. But you won’t take my life.

I will fight you, but I will live while I do it.

While I freak out every three months awaiting blood results to see if you decided to make a reappearance... But I will live.

I still wear the scars from surgery that won’t ever heal… I know the two new rips in my flesh from the biopsies are still fresh and have yet to scar…

Every doctor's appointment holds a terror I never experienced before but after every test I await to hear you've returned somewhere.

You terrify me. You've taken people I love. You're taking people I love. You will take people I love...

But I will love and laugh and write and play and fight for others. I will live.

So fuck you cancer while you will end me you’ve forced me to enjoy every second of my life. You've given me a perspective and a laser focus to be happy and to bring as much happiness as I can to others. Even while I say fuck you... thank you for making me grab every opportunity available to me without hesitation or guilt.

Hugs, Z.
((written only because these words need to be set free out of my brain.))

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