Monday, September 2, 2013

Ode to the Sex Scene

Ode to Sex Scenes

Sex scenes have the power to take 'ew' to 'awwww' and on to 'ahhhh'. In my humble opinion, sex is one of the things that make people confused/disturbed/uncertain/leery about homosexuality. Many heterosexuals are unable to relate to homosexuality because they focus only on the differences. This is one of the largest stumbling blocks to equality. Sex scenes allow for a visibility that can be a priceless education which is one of the reasons I get twitchy about people questioning the validity of sex scenes.

It really is a matter of 'the more you know'. LGBTQIA characters help reduce the differences between heterosexual and homosexual. Our characters experience life's struggles the same way everyone does with the added stress of societal pressure to be 'straight'.

Isn't that enough? Why do I still sing the praises of sex scenes? Even if people know someone who is of a different sexual orientation they can still maintain their prejudice (consciously or unconsciously) that the physical act of homosexual sex sets everything apart. They aren't going to be invited into John&Bob's/Katie&Michelle's bedrooms so gay sex remains shrouded in mystery. By keeping it in the shadows we force it to stay in the 'taboo' box and make it something that 'normal' people wouldn't do and couldn't relate to doing.

Reading a gay sex scene may be the only exposure many straight people are going to have to this activity. While I romanticized it, possibly even fetishize it (cause my Pretties know I worship the edges & celebrate differences) I want to demystify the sex had between two people of the same sex. I want everyone to know it's not a big fucking deal. It's much more the same than different.

By making non-heteronormative sex scenes accessible and pretty, authors of gay romance are helping people accept: Sex is sex and Love is love. Sex scenes can allows to the focus to be on the yum factor. It is my hope the heat and sweetness can melt the differences.

What do you think, my Pretties?

Big Hugs, Z. Allora


  1. I will be the first to admit that, prior to reading my first m/m romance, I had the whole "eeuuwww" factor going on when I even thought about it. The first m/m story I read was "Love the Sinner" by Avril Ashton and I LOVED IT! The sex...yeah, the sex was great!! But, being there at the beginning of such a wonderful, loving, conflicted relationship was special!
    J and Dusty's story in "Finally Fallen" was another story-line filled with angst and questions and, simply put, LOVE. Plus, the sex was off-the-charts (once Dusty got his head out of his ass and realized he really had to say in WHO he falls in love with).
    The point?? As you said, "Love is love". Yeah, the sex is a little different, but no less red-hot. The goal now is to get that message out there. This blog, and others like it, do that in a way that doesn't cram the message down the throats of those who question and wonder.
    Still....not ALL gay romance sex scenes need to be pretty.
    Just sayin'!

  2. I completely agree with you Kym... not all romance sex scenes are pretty nor do they need to be (Clearly look at the nightmarish time Justin had again and again...) but the ending should be a trend towards the 'pretty' = overcoming of obstacles.

    Seeing a relationship built and succeed is a heady experience>>> I believe it can transcend orientation... cause everyone LOVES a HEA (even if they claim otherwise>>>> that's my story anyway and I'm sticking to it).

    Thanks so much for beta reading this blog.

    Hugs, Z.

  3. I've always been the type of person that see's sex.. as just that, sex. It doesn't matter who, or even what's involved within the act, just as long as the people who are involved with it are happy with their decisions.

    The first time I read through a M/M sex scene, it really was a true eye opener. (Probably because it was a bondage scene. For the life of me now though, I can't recall what book it was from.) Still though, I was comfortable with what I read, and still am now. I think I've mentioned this to you before, but reading some of these scene's have even helped me better myself as an author and role playing writer.

    Kinda surprised some people are a bit put off when they read a M/M scene within a story.. shouldn't they have known what they were getting into when they purchased the book?

  4. Denise,
    I worry that people who skim the sex scenes because I usually put a ton of information in them. The characters are at their most open (or not). We discover a lot of information through their interactions during sex.
    On a personal level, it allows us as readers to become introspective about our own sex lives and how we interact or chose not to... reading/writing a sex can be healing/purging of things we might not be able to deal with directly. It allows us to view it at a safe distance.
    Or it's just hot...
    Hugs, Z.