Thursday, September 13, 2018

BOOK FINISHED TO DO LIST


Several people have asked for my to do list in terms a writing a book. Here it is: 

Write in Scrivener
Put in Word
Kill bad words
Re-read
Spell Check
Send to critique partners
Do feedback
Re-read (check first lines of chapter)
Check spacing & chapter heads
Write synopsis
Write query letter
Submit to publisher Or Upload
Read Contract
Edits
Make Pintrest page
Update website
Give out ARCs
Request reviews: The Novel Approach, Rainbow Gold Reviews, Rogue Words, Stumbling Over Chaos, Scattered Thoughts, Crystell’s, etc.
Update GoodReads
Add book to Novel Rank and Bookbub
Write blogs
Make Media Package
Do contests
Write Next book

Thursday, September 6, 2018

How to get your BDSM dreams met…


Society attempts to embarrass and take away our sexuality by demonizing sexual expression especially from AFABs (people assigned female at birth). I could write a very long blog presenting evidence but just watch TV.

How are sexually expressive people shown? It’s rare to see a positive representation of sexual people (BTW we saw this in action with Sex & the City’s Samantha and with Brian on Queer as Folk. Two sexual characters and they both got cancer that hit them in their sexuality… so yeah even when the character is celebrated there always seems to be negative consequences.)

Another way to verify this is thinking about how people talk about sex in day to day? The expectation is sex is not discussed or spoken about in whispered words (unless you’re with me at Starbucks… ask Eden Winters).

Of course, there are exceptions but society defaults to controlling and hiding sex/sexuality.

I say fuck that noise. (As long as it’s consensual)

Own your sexuality.

But how?
1st Know Thy Self
You need to understand what interests you before you can share it with others. (This is not to say you can’t find your interests while exploring with others but sometimes it’s good to focus on yourself to know what you want without the influence of others.)


How to figure out what your needs/wants/desires?
Read (not just romance gasp! Did I say that?) Read BDSM How-To-Books
Watch videos (not just smexy videos but YouTube videos on the basics of what interests you)
Have conversations with others (ask questions & discuss topics)
Look at the BDSM checklist to find titillating activities. (And yes, some of the things you’ll have to google)
Play with the toy(s) that interest you.
And utilize any other way that lets you determine what tickles your fancy.


The Struggle of Sharing Your Ideas
Sometimes this includes no one but yourself… if so (& you’re willing) Enjoy.

Others might want to share their BDSM dreams with their partner(s).

Before you proceed: Keep in mind your partner(s) also have been fed the same line of shame and embarrassment society and family/friends have forced on you. The degree may vary but it’s probably still there embedded in their filter possibly coloring their reaction.

When broaching BDSM activities with your partner you might encounter resistance or a quick negative response > which can make you feel bad and wishing you had never brought up the subject. Though remember this might not be outright rejection but the learned response society force fed them.


How to start the conversation with your partner
1)    Feel them out > share a movie, book, post, or something you heard someone say…

2)    Ask them directly what they think & be ready for suggestions in terms of where you want to start…. Or decide together (best to start small with tiny wins than big with disasters)

3)    Put their hand on your ass and pull it back and smack it IF YOU LIKE IT: voice your appreciation with words or moans.

4)    Play with Toys: a paddle, a feather (Again start small) be ready for a negative reaction or denial of interest (again society force feeds us this negative stuff… try not to take it personally)

5)    Gentle role play: with a bit of a BDSM bent to it > school teacher naughty student


Getting Around the Negative
Ask open ended questions of your partner:
Why do you say that?
What do you think would happen if we did X?
How would X activity make you feel?
Allow your partner(s) to tell you how they feel.

Share how you feel:
Why are you interested in BDSM or name a specific activity?
How do you think X activity will make you feel?
Why are you seeking to feel that way?


See if a compromise can be reached:
Can you try it once and see how they feel? We can stop (aka Safeword) if you don’t like/want the activity to continue.
Is there a different activity that satisfies the same need? (IE: Need to serve doesn’t have to be met sexually a massage, doing your partner’s chores, etc.)
Can you get the same result without the equipment? (Just holding the bedposts as opposed to be tied to it?)

If there seems to be no compromise you might ask yourself harder questions:
Will time change your partner’s feelings?
What can you do to help support a change in your partners feelings?
If your partner never changes is this a deal breaker?
What are other ways you can get your needs met?

There are no easy answers but you’re worth working to find satisfaction. We are each responsible for our own happiness.

Always seek your own truth.

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Jordon Davis Chats about being a sexual side


(Jordon sits down and kicks his legs up onto the coffee table. He sighs then pulls his legs back and curls them under him.) You know a question I hate: are you a top or a bottom?

By the way, when your answer is NO the guys quickly disappear.

Let me explain. There’s a lot of pressure from society, porn, friends… your brothers—I have two older ones—everything and everyone paints an image in your mind about what sex is supposed to be. I meet a great guy, fall in love and apparently at that point I’m supposed to what to thrust my condom covered dick into him or have him poke his protected pecker into me. Seriously?

Argh! Can someone tell me why I should want that?

I get much of society still uses the Bill Clinton definition of sex and that somehow oral sex isn’t real sex. Handjobs, rimming, rubbing against each other… in other words none of the things I think I’d find delicious—if I were ever given the chance—are considered by many not to be real sex.

Who decided the only validate sex is penis in hole?

I mean I know lesbians aren’t down with that. My oldest brother’s friend Lisa would have something to say if anyone suggested what she and her wife have isn’t sex…. However, as a gay man I’m supposed to believe that anal is the only way?

And what really pisses me off is that… well I guess I kind of do. I drank the Kool-Aid. In my head, I know not everyone wants that! I don’t want that—There I said it—but in my heart… I know not EVER wanting anal is a problem. It goes against norms… or what a lot of people believe are the norms.

Of course, I’ve never really told anybody how I feel about this… well, except for my friend Robin and my best friend Gwen. They take being sexually expressive to another dimension but who else would understand? It is supposed be in a male’s DNA to want to fuck, so what does that make me?

Oh, I know some of you would comfort me telling me I’ll grow out it or I just haven’t found the right guy, but that’s just not true… at least not for me.

You have to know I imagined anal sex a million times. I’ve watched a lot porn… like PhD level studies of porn. I’ve tried things… off page I’ve used dildos but I just don’t find anal sex erotic. It’s simply not for me. Hell, I even had Z. write me a princely deflowering but I realized that wasn’t who I was.

By now I bet some of you are saying to yourselves, “It’s no wonder why I never really had a boyfriend.” (Sigh) Maybe it’s not just that I have two overly protective older brothers…. but that’s an issue for another blog!

But I swear if I ever had a boyfriend I’d love kissing, cuddling, rubbing off together, slick handjobs, and (Jordon fans himself) oral sex. Oh wow… I mean blowjobs look just so— I could totally get behind sucking cock. Sucking lots and lots of cock and dare I suggest I’d love getting my cock wet in some beautiful man’s mouth… that’s just—

(Jordon leans toward you) You know what I find superhot?

A guy who can blow himself. (Jordon waves off disbelief with a flutter of his hands.) No, really! It’s a thing! I’ve seen it!  Google selfsuck. Man, I could watch those videos all day. I imagine myself sharing someone’s cock with them. You know trading sucks back and forth and—sorry I can get carried away.


Thanks for hanging with me,
Jordon Davis
PS I dropped a link on how to self suck... You're WelCUM!

The Temple of Heaven’s Blurb
Music is Tian Di’s life and his love, and he’s made plenty of sacrifices. His career is finally taking off with his band, Made in China, and he’ll continue to put music first... until he meets Jordon. Then insta- lust becomes insta-love and a commitment to the future—no matter how difficult it might be.
Jordon lives in a bubble constructed by his overprotective older brothers, who are so controlling that they’ve kept him from dating. A talented artist, Jordon managed to keep his success with a Japanese manga publisher a secret from his family, but now he fears discovery. It’s easier to let his brothers handle everything, but Jordon has reached his limit. He’s ready to draw some boundaries so he can be his own man and face all the challenges that come with that.
Their families and careers aren’t the only obstacles. Jordon must accept his identity as a gay man who doesn’t top or bottom. Fortunately, Tian Di—and his special talents—help Jordon open up to his sexuality in an erotic adventure that spans Japan and China, and with love, luck, hard work, and open minds, will end in a happily ever after.

Buy Links:

eBook

Paperback



Thursday, August 23, 2018

Welcome Erica Hope Baker!

Thank you so much for joining us on my blog.

Pretties: Erica is one my Pretties List on Facebook (& probably on yours too). She responded to a video I posted about the NFL Protests. Too many times we have seen people hide behind the veterans and how taking a knee is an insult. Mr. Al Jackson injects some truth into the situation. 

Here’s the video:

                                  Al Jackson Clip on Football Players Protest & Veterans


Based on her comments to my post she clearly this issue strikes close to home with Erica. She has sons five sons from 13 to 29 years old. Unfortunately, each has been harassed by the police. She has agreed to share her stories and experiences with us because she wants to foster a better understanding.

What did you do as a mother to try to ensure your sons were safe? (ie conversations about interactions, dangers white kids would not face, etc.)


 "I started having conversations with my boys at a very early age about many thing besides the police. We live in Southwest Louisiana and there are many things dealing with race that as a mom you just have to talk to them about. From the police aspect I told them to always be polite even if you are not in the wrong because I would rather them come home than me having to identity their bodies.


That is a real and true possibility.

When they are driving to keep their hands on the steering wheel and not to reach for anything. Always keep your drivers licence and stuff on the visor so that you NEVER have to reach in the glove box or in your pocket for anything.

Always try to comply but even if they do all that they will be harrassed. It is just what it is with them being male and black.

We also had the talk about if they are attracted to a young lady that may be white they need to make sure it is ok with her father, brothers, uncles all white male relatives. That could be a life or death situation.  I let them know that I don’t have a problem with them dating outside of their race or someone of the same sex but you will deal with a ton of hate if you do.

Again it is what it is.

I have had friend and relatives go to jail or they have gotten the crap beaten out of them for dating outside their race and the young lady was afraid to tell her family the truth and/or the family did not agree with it. 

I’m not having that when it can be avoided. I may get slammed for that comment but I want them to live and being killed because you date outside your race is still an issue whether people want to believe it or not."

Are there any experiences you’d like to share with us?


"I have many! I will start with my oldest son who is now 29 and work down to the youngest who is now 13.  Tyree who is my oldest has had many run ins with the police some of his own doing. But from about the age of 11 or 12 when he would walk home from school in school uniforms I might add the police would stop him and ask him where he was going. He would reply home or school and they would follow him.

Same with my second son Dalvin.

My third son Darius had a hard time because he was an athlete. He used to try and jog for conditioning but couldn’t because the police would stop him and ask him why he was running every single time he would go. We actually moved from that area because of the harrassment. It was nothing that was too aggressive just enough to make him and me uncomfortable.

He was about 14 at the time. You have to understand my boys are all tall the shortest which is Darius is about 5’11 and the tallest which is my fourth son Denarius is 6’3. Them being tall and fit is a threat. Now on to Denarius my all around athlete. He plays football, basketball, runs track, and wrestles. He is very muscular and very tall. One time he was taking the trash to the dumpster in our apartment complex. He had two bags of trash in his hands. The police that patrol our neighborhood stopped him and asked him where he was going and where did he live. He replied I’m taking  the trash out for my mom. He admitted that he said it a bit sarcastic with a “duh” look on his face but he did have trash bags and he was standing by a dumpster! They asked him a ton of questions about where he went to school and stuff and when they realized who he was (he is very popular because of sports and he goes to a popular predominantly white school in our area and he speaks well) they told him to have a good day.

Now my baby Dayan aka Squeaky who is 13 is a very flamboyant contemporary ballet dancer/choreographer. He is doing the choreography for his studio this year!  (Proud mom moment) They (the police) never say anything to him they just laugh and point which is probably worst.

D.L. Hugley the once said, “The police in black neighborhoods are not there to protect and service they are there to keep us in our neighborhood and out of theirs.”

I don’t feel I need to say there are good police because there are. I have good friends on the police force but they tend to see the bad in people and start to lump us (people of color) all in the same basket. I live in a neighborhood that most people would consider “bad”. If I could live somewhere else I’m sure I would. Being a divorced, single mom with one income doesn’t leave a lot of options for me."


Do you fear police interaction and could you explain to us why?


"I do. I think most people of color fear what could happen. It’s not even necessarily that a POC has had a bad experience with the police. It’s the fear of it. I have had police be completely disrespectful. I have had police be completely lovely to me and my children. It’s just the what if of getting that one bad cop.

After seeing person after person being shot in the back or mysteriously killed while in police custody you will have a fear of them. You can’t get around that.

I have even read articles where psychologist say that the fear of police is a form of PTSD. My brother is an army vet and has PTSD and for POC to have a fear of police that is comparable with that horrible disease is scary."


How can people support you, your sons, other people of color?


"First by acknowledging there is a problem. By not making it an us vs them type of thing. If you see someone being harassed don’t say it’s not my problem, step forward and say something. I know its hard and I know it's scary but you could be saving somebody’s life.

What is the one thing you want to make sure someone reading this walks away with?
Not all brown men and boys are thugs, drug dealers, and rapist.
I feel that in America brown = bad. Even if a person doesn’t consider themselves a racist.

I have seen people cross the street and lock their doors when my 15 year old son Denarius walks by. He is a 6 foot 3 inch teddy bear! He loves football and wrestling but he can rock a fussy baby to sleep better than a ton of mom’s I know with a ton of experience. He is a super gentle soul but all most people see is a big black man so he is something to fear.

Dayan my 13 year old dancer teaches little 3-year-old girls ballet. It is the cutest most heartwarming thing to see little bitty girls in their little leotards and tights running up to him screaming “Mr. Dayan, Mr. Dayan!”. They squeeze his legs and tell him they love him. I just melt every time I go to the studio and see that.

Dalvin is going to school to be a nurse.

Darius is trying to “find himself” (insert eye roll) and that's ok for now.

Tyree is a poet. He wants to be a rapper but I’m encouraging him to write a book of poetry because his words are profound.

I’m not saying my boys are perfect because they are not. All I’m saying is that they deserve the chance to live and thrive. The deserve the chance to be husbands and fathers. They deserve the chance to live.

And in America just because of the color of their skin they are in danger of dying. Love and Hugs!"

Pretties: Thank you Erica for sharing your thoughts, and experiences with us. 
I can't add much to this brave mother's story but I will beg. 
We need to admit the truth: Not being a racist is no longer enough. 
Please dig deep and find ways YOU can do to help change the world. 
Use your voice to change the perceptions. 
Young men like Tyree, Dalvin, Darius, Denarius, Dayan deserve to live without fearing for their lives. 

Many hugs, Z.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Classic Jordon Davis from The Temple of Heaven


Jordon has been in my head since 2010. He is the youngest of the Davis brothers. The two older ones basically raised him—even before their mom threw Jordon out for coming out to her church group. Their attention and love didn’t replace Jordon’s need for parental affection but reinforced he was worthy of love.

We meet Jordon Davis in his eldest brother’s book Finally Fallen. His brothers are trying to convince him to stop sextexting strangers. We see him in Lock and Key as the absent-minded artist. In his own book, The Temple of Heaven he struggles to move past the bratty overprotected teen his brothers see him as to become independent. He wants to do that without hurting his brothers.


Excerpt from Finally Fallen:
(This snippet comes later in the book. Jordon is with his brothers playing paintball. He’s sixteen years old. It’s classic Jordon.)
Jordon whipped around the hay wall and yelped, “Ah-ha! Got you!” When he went to shoot he was out of paintballs. “Aw, no fair!”
Dusty laughed. He could have easily pulled his trigger. Instead, he handed Jordon his gun and put a finger to his mouth, indicating the kid should shut up.
He spread his arms wide in a big brotherly sacrifice so Jordon could tag him. He bit back an ‘ow’ when Jordon nailed him in the boot... twice.
Jordon pursed his lips before mouthing, “Sorry.”
Dusty waved off the apology and gestured for them to go opposite directions. They could circle around behind Zack so Jordon could get him.
“Who was shot? Jordon, did you bite the dust again?” Zack called out.
With a nod, Dusty and Jordon twirled around the barrier Zack hid behind. Dusty faked a sneeze to draw Zack’s attention long enough for Jordon to ping their middle brother about ten times, though Jordon missed the same amount before he pelted Dusty a number of occasions.
Jordy’s enthusiasm wasn’t dampened in the least by how he’d claimed his victory. “I won! I won! I won!”
Zack snatched Jordon’s borrowed weapon and took off his goggles. “Thanks, Dust. Now I have to hear this for the next six years.”
“No worries, Zack. I’ll bet it drops off after the first five.” Dusty chuckled. Hey, it made the kid happy.
Jordon giggled as they piled into Dusty’s car.
“Hey, use the tarps. I just had the leather redone.” Dusty handed Zack the plastic fabric out of the trunk, ignoring the major eye roll. Dusty pulled on his Boston cap and his sunglasses.
On the way home, Jordon chortled. “Hey, Zack.”
“Yes, Jordon?”
“Remember that time I beat you in paintball?” Jordon was on a high.
“I think this is what you both should call the start of the Jordon Dynasty.”
 “Dusty, seriously, man, can’t thank you enough.” Zack glared at him.
“Oh, not to worry, Serf Zackery. I’ll be a benevolent ruler.” The kid continued to happy dance in the car without pause.
“Drive thru?” Dusty asked as he pulled up to the menu board.
The kid wiggled over the top of Dusty to speak into the box. “Hi, I hope you’re having a great day. I’ll have a number one and a big cup of cola.” A scratchy voice said, “Why, thank you. I hope you’re having a great day. That’s one number one and a huge cola.”
“Oh, I am having a great day. I just beat my older brothers at paintball.” “Well, congratulations,” the box said.
“Thanks. I...” Jordon’s words were lost as Zack pushed him into the backseat so he could order.
At the window, the woman took Dusty’s money. She returned his change and handed them the food. “And this is for Mr. Paintball King.” Jordon took the crown with as much reverence as if he were named the King of England. He placed cardboard on his head and gave a royal wave to the cashier. As soon as Dusty drove off, Jordon filled the car with a squeal fit for a teen princess.
Jordon reached over the front seat to pat both Dusty and Zack on the shoulders. “Thanks, guys. I had an epic time, and not just ‘cause I’m the greatest paintball player who ever lived.”
Zack glanced over at Dusty with a grin he couldn’t quite hide. Yeah, the littlest Davis was a handful, but he was theirs. 




Here’s an excerpt from Lock and Key Jordon is almost eighteen. It’s dawn and Zack calls him for assistance. (Jordon is full on in artist mode)
“Zack? Where the hell have you been?” Jordon growled into the phone.
“Good morning to you, grumpy one!” Zack injected some happy into his voice.
“I’m not grumpy. I can’t make the exact color I need.... Wait, where are you? What time is it?”
Zack pushed sweet into his voice. “Almost time for breakfast. I’m outside a diner. You’re up working anyway. Meet me.”
“Why can’t we have breakfast here at home?”
He’d stoop to bribery. “I’ll buy you breakfast.”
“What’s going on?” Jordon demanded.
“I need you to bring me some clothing.” The request wouldn’t allay worry or suspicion, but there was nothing to be done about it. He couldn’t stand the idea of the weekend being over. If he could just avoid it a little longer, he could deal with the sinking feeling of loss threatening to overwhelm him.
“Why do you need clothing? Just come home and change. Can’t we do lunch? I’m having trouble with this piece....”
“Jordy, please. I’m not going home yet and I need you to bring me some clothing and a few other things.”
“Why? Why don’t you come get them yourself?” With barely a breath, Jordon’s questioning turned into conclusion-jumping. “Wait! Are you in trouble? You’re in trouble? Oh my God! What did you do? Did
188 Z. Allora
you kill someone? Christ on a cupcake! My own brother on the lam, a fugitive from the law.”
“What? No.” Jesus, his brother’s imagination scared him. Chuckling, he shook his head to try to follow Jordon’s line of reasoning, getting lost quickly. “Insane much? I just need you to bring me a few things.”
“Like your passport, right?”
“No! I don’t need my passport.” Zack checked his pocket to make sure he had his wallet. All he needed was his driver’s license for ID. “Meet me.”
“This piece is really....” Jordon became silent, and what sounded like paint being slapped onto canvas became louder.
No. No. No. Strangling him was out of the question because it would make Dusty even more pissed. Plus, a dead Jordon wouldn’t be able to do his bidding. He couldn’t lose his accomplice to his brother’s art.
Zack groaned. “Jordy, please. I need your help.”
His younger brother grumbled, “Fine. Why do I have a feeling you don’t want me to mention our breakfast plans to Dusty?”
“’Cause you’re the brightest crayon in the entire box.”
“Dusty’s going to kick my ass for this, isn’t he?” The excitement that tinged the kid’s voice was distressing. Damn, any little bit of intrigue.... Jordon needed more friends.
Zack rolled his eyes. “He won’t. If he finds out, I’ll tell him I swore you to secrecy.”
*****
These classic snippets show where Jordon has been and in The Temple of Heaven we see him struggling to be seen as who he is now and not who he was when he was a kid. He wants to be independent for his future husband but he hopes to find a way that won’t hurt his brothers. 



The Temple of Heaven’s Blurb
Music is Tian Di’s life and his love, and he’s made plenty of sacrifices. His career is finally taking off with his band, Made in China, and he’ll continue to put music first... until he meets Jordon. Then insta- lust becomes insta-love and a commitment to the future—no matter how difficult it might be.
Jordon lives in a bubble constructed by his overprotective older brothers, who are so controlling that they’ve kept him from dating. A talented artist, Jordon managed to keep his success with a Japanese manga publisher a secret from his family, but now he fears discovery. It’s easier to let his brothers handle everything, but Jordon has reached his limit. He’s ready to draw some boundaries so he can be his own man and face all the challenges that come with that.
Their families and careers aren’t the only obstacles. Jordon must accept his identity as a gay man who doesn’t top or bottom. Fortunately, Tian Di—and his special talents—help Jordon open up to his sexuality in an erotic adventure that spans Japan and China, and with love, luck, hard work, and open minds, will end in a happily ever after.
BUY LINKS;

Thursday, August 9, 2018

In 2011 I teased Ally Blue about me not liking zombies. They just weren't sexy... Although if I wrote zombies they'd be hot and young and looking for their mates. They wouldn't search for brains...  

Zombies suck but mine would swallow...

I agreed maybe I'd write a few paragraphs... maybe just a short story... well a novella might work...

Finally, three books in I got to the scene that embedded itself in my brain. A cheerleader with crooked pony tails landing into the arms of a man... 




Meet Erick Mc Grath. Here's gender queer and gay. He's walking into Club Zombie. God if his brother was alive he'd have been proud.... 


Zombies Coming

Club Zombie is a safe haven for people like Cassidy Frost. Zombies suck—but they’re not after brains! Forget mindless rotting corpses shuffling along. These zombies are young, hot, and looking for their mates.

Cassidy, who wrote everyone else’s happily ever after, had all but lost hope he’d ever find his own. Every night he sucked until his jaw hurt, praying for his other half more out of habit than faith his mate was out there. He didn’t dare hope fate would drop his mate into his lap.

Erick McGrath stumbled and landed in the arms of a beautiful angel. Though he must be dreaming, because he learned how cruel and short life could be when he lost his brother. Despite his parents’ toxic attitude, Erick starts to accept his nonbinary gender identity. Going to Club Zombie’s Drag Night is his first attempt at embracing his new grasp at freedom.

But Cassidy and Erick will have to take risks to have what they desire.


(Zombies Coming is part of the Club Zombie series but can be read as a standalone for a perfectly happy and satisfying ending.)



Thursday, August 2, 2018

Club Zombie #3 Zombies Coming



Zombies Coming Blurb

Club Zombie is a safe haven for people like Cassidy Frost. Zombies suck—but they’re not after brains! Forget mindless rotting corpses shuffling along. These zombies are young, hot, and looking for their mates.

Cassidy, who wrote everyone else’s happily ever after, had all but lost hope he’d ever find his own. Every night he sucked until his jaw hurt, praying for his other half more out of habit than faith his mate was out there. He didn’t dare hope fate would drop his mate into his lap.

Erick McGrath stumbled and landed in the arms of a beautiful angel. Though he must be dreaming, because he learned how cruel and short life could be when he lost his brother. Despite his parents’ toxic attitude, Erick starts to accept his nonbinary gender identity. Going to Club Zombie’s Drag Night is his first attempt at embracing his new grasp at freedom.

But Cassidy and Erick will have to take risks to have what they desire.

(Zombies Coming is part of the Club Zombie series but can be read as a standalone for a perfectly happy and satisfying ending.)