Gender queer

Here's a basic gender queer video: 

This next section was ripped from Psychology Today: The Price of Conforming to Gender Norms.

"The man appears to be neither masculine nor feminine-–he is both. This may be disturbing to some, liberating to others. It is useful for us to reflect on our own perceptions and values with respect to what society considers appropriate as “male” and “female.”

People who don't fit into either masculine or feminine gender roles often call themselves "gender queer." The gender queer believe being masculine or feminine is something we learn living in our particular society-–masculinity and femininity are not determined by our biological sex. Being a male doesn’t make us masculine; being a female doesn’t make us feminine.

We learn how to behave in a masculine or feminine manner through socialization.

Males and females from different societies are the same biologically. But different societies have different ideas about how men and women should behave. For example: in some Middle-Eastern societies, it is normal for straight men to walk about town holding hands-–it means they are friends. In Western societies, the same behavior means something quite different.

How is Gender Engendered?
These days there is a wide range of what is considered appropriate behavior for males and females. With the advent of the metrosexual and the man-bun, norms have certainly changed over time.
But some time-honored examples will make my point. As males, we may be taught at an early age to disown our nurturing side-–boys aren't supposed to play with dolls. As females, we may be taught to disavow constructive aggression-–girls aren’t encouraged to engage in rough and tumble play.

As we become socialized, peers continue the process our families started. Young children learn to put pressure on each other to conform to gender specific traits-–“You throw like a girl.”

By the time we are adults, we may not even be aware of how society has shaped our gender-conforming behavior. But we are all affected. We often police our own behavior. A woman may ask herself, “Am I being too manly by being a competitive and aggressive presidential candidate?” A man may worry, “Am I acting like a woman when I become emotional?”

Most of us are reasonably comfortable adhering to the gender norms of our society. But if we are not aware of the ways in which we are complying with expectation, we may reject an essential part of our self.

We should ask ourselves, have I disowned some essential part of myself in order to conform to a gender role?

Sometimes we are overly identified with gender-conforming behavior . . .
Kay is comfortable with her femininity but feels immobilized by her fear of appearing too ambitious. She hears her mother saying, "No one likes an ambitious woman."  She feels uncomfortable showing people her ambition-–the part of herself that identifies with her successful father. So, she hides her desire to succeed and suffers the loss of the crucial support and encouragement she would get from her friends, if she would only let them know.

Or we can overly resist gender-conforming behavior  . . .
Laura fears becoming like her mother. As a typical housewife of her time, Laura’s mother was financially dependent on her husband. She took responsibility for raising the children. She suffered quietly as her husband engaged in a series of affairs.
Laura modeled herself on her father. She is an independent woman who would not rely on any man. She has disowned her femininity. Although she married, she keeps her husband at an emotional distance. Now she finds herself desiring an affair with a man she fantasizes will take care of her. This affair would allow her to realize her feminine side, while avoiding feeling too emotionally vulnerable with her husband.

Awareness is Key
Whether we conform to, or resist, gender norms, they play a role in how we see and judge ourselves. They also influence how we perceive others. They impact our behavior whether we are aware of them or not. If we are going to be subjected to such powerful influences, we need to reflect on the ways in which they impact us. Without doing so, we may be prevented from realizing our true potential.
By David Braucher, L.C.S.W., Ph.D.
((https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/contemporary-psychoanalysis-in-action/201610/the-price-conforming-gender-norms))

Non-Binary GenderQueer Orientation

Identities: 

((THESE DEFINITIONS WERE SWIPED from http://genderqueerid.com/gq-terms))

Agender (non-gender): “not identifying with any gender, the feeling of having no gender.” (HTWG) “a term used to describe a person without gender. This person can be any physical sex, but their body does not necessarily correspond with their lack of gender identity” [*]

Androgyne: “1. A person whose biological sex is not readily apparent. 2. A person who is intermediate between the two traditional genders. 3. A person who rejects gender roles entirely.” (HTWG)

Bigender: Bigender people identify as two genders simultaneously, or move between them. This is not limited to man/woman and can include other genders. [*]

(Nonbinary) Butch: “Holding a nonbinary gender identity and a butch gender expression, or claiming Butch as an identity outside of the gender binary” [*]

Ceterosexual/Ceteroromantic: “Ceterosexual/romantic is sexual/romantic attraction to individuals who’s genders fall under the nonbinary umbrella. This term used to be called skoliosexual/romantic but was renamed because the prefix “skolio-” means “bent or crooked” which implies nonbinary individuals are abnormal or broken. The new prefix “cetero” means “other” This term is exclusive to trans and/or nonbinary individuals. This is because many nonbinary individuals thought that this term could be seen as fetishistic.” It is unclear whether this terminology will stick — and some folks are still using skoliosexual — or if something new or more specific to certain GQ/NB identity attraction will arise. [*]

Crossdresser: “A person who, regardless of motivation, wears clothes, makeup, etc. that are considered by the culture to be appropriate for another gender but no one’s own (preferred term to “transvestite”). This gender non-conforming behavior should not be conflated with queer sexualities. Many cross-dressers are heterosexual and conduct their cross-dressing on a part-time basis. Cross-dressing might also be termed gender non-conforming behavior.” (HTWG)

Demigender: Demi- identities encompass those who identify partially as a given gender. Some common terms are demigirl, demiboy, demienby, and demiflux. [*] [*] Some related terms are nanogirl/nanoboy and magigirl/magiboy to refer to a small amount of a given gender mixed with more of another/other genders, and a large amount of a given gender mixed with more of another/other genders, respectively.

Enby: Derived from abbreviation NB for non-binary. Enbyfriend can be used as a neutral romantic or sexual partner term. [*] [*]

Epicene: “The term epicene literally means “common to both sexes.” It sometimes refers to individuals who have characteristics of both genders or someone who cannot be classified as one sex or the other. Most often, it refers to effeminate males.” [*]

(Nonbinary) Femme: “Holding a nonbinary gender identity and a femme gender expression, or claiming Femme as an identity outside of the gender binary.” [*]

Gender fluid: “Referring to a gender identity that changes with time and/or situation as opposed to a fix sex-role or gender queer expression” [10]

Genderflux: Similar to gender fluid, but involving a shift in gender “intensity”. [*] [*]

GenderFuck: “The idea of playing with gender cues to purposely confuse, mix, or combine a culture’s standard or stereotypical gender expressions.” (HTWG)

Genderless: “Someone who does not have a gender at all. Some people just don’t “get” gender or feel like they have no gender, or a lack of gender, or an absence of gender.” [*]

Gender neutral: May refer to identities, clothing, or behavior that are not easily categorized as masculine or feminine or a blend of the two (androgyny). See also neutrois.

Girlfag: “A woman who is very attracted to gay/bi men. She may (or may not) also feel she is (fully or partly) a “gay man in a woman’s body”. Girlfags may identify primarily as bi or straight or lesbian, and are often attracted to more types of people than just gay/bi men.” [11]

Graygender: "a person who identifies as (at least partially) outside the gender binary and has a strong natural ambivalence about their gender identity or gender expression. They feel they have a gender(s), as well as a natural inclination or desire to express it, but it’s weak and/or somewhat indeterminate/indefinable, or they don’t feel it most of the time, or they’re just not that invested in it.“

Guydyke: “A man who is very attracted to lesbian/bi women. He may (or may not) also feel he is (fully or partly) a “lesbian in a man’s body”. Guydykes may identify primarily as bi or straight or gay, and are often attracted to more types of people than just lesbian/bi women.” [11]

Intergender: “A person whose gender identity is between genders or a combination of genders.” (HTWG)

Neutrois: “There is no one definition of Neutrois, since each person that self-identifies as such experiences their gender differently. The most common ones are: neutral-gender, null-gender, neither male nor female ,genderless, agender.” [12]

Pangender:  “A person whose gender identity is comprised of many gender expressions.” (HTWG)

Pomosexual: “The queer erotic reality beyond the boundaries of gender, separatism, and essentialist notions of sexual orientation”. Generally used conceptually rather than a stand-alone identity term. See also PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality (1997).

Third Gender: Term often used in anthropological studies to set apart identities other than man or woman that appear across different cultures. Can have colonial connotations, use with caution. See also Gilbert H. Herdt’s Third Sex, Third Gender: Beyond Sexual Dimorphism in Culture and History (1996) and Serena Nanda’s Gender Diversity: Crosscultural Variations (2000).

Trigender: “People who feel they are neither male nor female, but not androgynous either and construct their own gender.” (HTWG) Trigender may also be used to refer to one who moves between three genders, as bigender is used to refer to those who move between two genders.

Transmasculine: “Transmasculine is a term used to describe transgender people who were assigned female at birth, but identify with masculinity to a greater extent than with femininity. This includes trans men, but transmasculine can also describe someone with a non-binary gender who views themselves as significantly masculine, such as demiguys. Transmasculine can also be used as a gender identity in its own right. Although they have masculine gender identities, transmasculine people may prefer not to conform to stereotypical masculine gender expression or gender roles.” [*]

Transfeminine: “Transfeminine is a term used to describe transgender people who were assigned male at birth, but identify with femininity to a greater extent than with masculinity. This includes trans women, but transfeminine can also describe someone with a non-binary gender who views themselves as significantly feminine, such as demigirls. Transfeminine can also be used as a gender identity in its own right. Although they have feminine gender identities, transfeminine people may prefer not to conform to stereotypical feminine gender expression or gender roles.” [*]

Transmedicalist/“Truscum” and Tucute/“Tupuke”/“Transtrender”: There is an ongoing debate between people who believe that dysphoria and desire to medical transition are essential to identifying as transgender, and those who do not find these aspects to be requirements for transgender identity, associated with the above words and corresponding slang. Some people who do not experience dysphoria are thought to be trying on a gender identity as a “trend”. See here for a good run-down of the history behind this debate.


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