Not Another Boy Band is finally out in the world!
Session drummer Sage Nakamura puts his trust fund where his heart is and starts his own band in Japan—Kashi-sei, Japanese for “visibility.” Tired of his favorite J-pop bands imploding over even a hint of same-sex attraction, Sage decides to take sponsorship out of the equation. He hopes his band will become a safe haven that validates diversity in gender identity and orientation. But he’ll need some help to make his endeavor successful.
Mangaka Ikeda Daiki lives a comfortable, if lonely, life in Tokyo. When he gets the opportunity to work with a band as it is forming, developing the products from the beginning—starting with a manga—he leverages his platform for more creative freedom.
At Sage’s insistence, Daiki helps him choose band members and navigate the finer points of Japanese culture. But the two have more than business goals in common. Mutual admiration develops into friendship, attraction, and a relationship full of firsts for both of them.
But as the band prepares for their debut, Sage, who has never played before a live audience, gets debilitating stage fright. How can Daiki and the band help him through it and keep his dream alive?
Z. wearing Daiki's fox hat
Chapter 1
IKEDA DAIKI tugged his fox hat down on his head. Shutting the window, he hoped to block out the noise of Tokyo waking up.
He stared at the sketch pad. The first character he ever drew—his nameless love—smiled back at him in a way that still turned him inside out. Daiki had been drawing him since he was twelve years old.
No one else had ever laid eyes on him. He was Daiki’s precious secret. Daiki had a treasure trove of pages and pads filled with sketches, all for himself.
The bookcases that lined one wall of the main space of his apartment were filled with the creations he shared with the world—mangas, from his one-offs to his series to his weekly serials—all neat and tidy on the shelves.
He had turned his living room and dining room into a working manga studio that fit him and his four assistants. Daiki was living his artist fantasy. All the things he’d ever wanted had come to pass.
Gently, he traced his finger over the lines that depicted the character’s sexy half smile, the one that haunted his dreams… well, haunted almost everything.
If only he could chase away the loneliness with someone a little more three-dimensional, but deadlines gave him little time or opportunity to meet anyone.
His cell phone buzzed, reminding him his assistants would be here in another two hours.
Daiki needed to put away his special one, but doing so was always hard. Easing himself past the loss, he flipped through one of the sketchbooks. He hesitated on the picture of him holding his beloved tight.
The background of the sketch was a simple black sky with a huge moon. They hugged on the roof while looking at the stars. He caressed the dark hair made by his pencils as he imagined they were talking about the future and what plans they wanted to make. All the big things, like where they would live or what vacations they would take, and the small things too, like what to have for dinner.
To share his life with someone….
He flipped through the pages, drawing after drawing, and he needed to stop.
“I’m Pygmalion,” he mused, tracing a finger once more over the full lips he’d drawn. He must be crazy to have fallen in love with a picture based on someone who didn’t exist.
It probably wasn’t healthy, but like many twentysomethings, he hadn’t found his special someone… outside of two dimensions. To get to where he was in his career, he’d needed to stay laser-focused, so dating wasn’t drawn into his storyboard. Though even the people he did meet, no one could compare—maybe he didn’t want them to.
Letting his finger follow the gentle wave of the image’s hair, he imagined this man would be smart, kind, and eager to change the world. Help Daiki explore things he’d only drawn, things like—
Work!
He gathered his drawing supplies and put them all away, then slipped the sketch pad back into the locked fireproof drawer of his desk on top of over thirty would-be mangas.
Switching to digital mode, he turned on his computer and morphed from fantasy to real life—make that as real as a mangaka could get.
The first of his four assistants walked in. Kobayashi Hikari was always early. She bowed and greeted him, “Good morning, Sensei,” then disappeared into the second bedroom. He had designed the room for his assistants. There were bunk beds for napping or late nights, privacy to change clothing, and a closet to store their things.
She reappeared in a ninja costume.
“Morning.” Since Daiki wore his fox hat to work, he could hardly criticize anyone else’s method for sinking into their artistic zone.
“Who are you working on?” she asked.
“Hironori.”
“Oh, I love him. I’m partial to the enemies-to-lovers trope anyway. Tie that in with a big boss falling in love with the head of a rival company… I’m all in.” Her soft tone suggested she was smitten completely. His character certainly lived up to his name, which meant “benevolent ruler.” Daiki had leaned into that in last month’s manga.
Daiki chuckled. He couldn’t deny his wish to be more like this character. Taking what he wanted in business and having no problem demanding more in love.
Hikari sighed. “You’ve got to love Hironori’s bold ways and determination that always gets him what he wants. Though this month it looks like who he wants.”
Brave Hironori accepted who he was, took risks, and was never lonely. “He does. You want to—”
“Yes, please.” She jumped at any chance to work on this manga.
“It’s just the dialogue.” He needed to work on delegating, but it was hard for him not to do everything.
Hikari laughed and made grabby hands, so he sent her the files.
He scrolled through the storyboards on the screen and started to work on his edits.
His assistant Ito Rei, who seemed to have no interest in anything other than drawing, strolled in with Takahashi Ichiro, a new graduate who wanted to burn down the manga world one storyboard at a time. Sounded like they were still debating sekkusu-banare.
“But sekkusu-banare literally means drifting away from sex, so if that happens—” Rei interrupted herself to greet them. “Morning, Sensei. Hikari.”
Ichiro followed suit and then trailed after Rei. “But how can the impact be negative on manga?”
“Later.” Rei rushed to her seat and started to work.
Sighing, Ichiro gave Rei a pointed stare, but she ignored him, so he sat down.
“Greetings, Sensei. I picked up tea and soda.” Last to arrive was Sato Akihiro, Daiki’s high school pal, who usually worked far into the night. He should have his own studio, but their friendship caused neither to discuss it.
“Morning, Akihiro. Thank you. I forgot.” Thankfully, one of Daiki’s assistants always remembered.
“No problem, Sensei.” Akihiro gave him a nod before ducking into the assistants’ room.
Hikari popped up from behind her monitor. “I’ll set up a delivery with the market down the street so the staples Sensei generously keeps on hand for us will arrive on Wednesday afternoons. Everyone get your lists to me after lunch.”
“Sounds great.” Less time on the day-to-day and more time to focus on drawing. His assistants really were outstanding.
Wearing his favorite maid’s costume from Daiki’s first spy manga series, Akihiro took his seat. He said her character was powerful and understated, exactly the way he wanted to draw, conveying much with little.
Glancing at the schedule, Daiki reminded the group, “We still have twelve days before the ne-mu is due on the monthly series, but it’s Tuesday, so the final sketches are due on the weekly serials.”
“Yes, Sensei,” they each muttered.
Luckily, he didn’t cut things close. He had storylines and rough sketches months in advance, and in some cases years. Whole series were just waiting for an editor’s markups and a publisher’s go-ahead.
He had two editors with different publishers catering to his distinctive brands and vastly unique audiences. The editors knew of each other and of his immense catalogue of unseen work that, unless he died an untimely death, he would bring forward at a slow but consistent pace. To flood the readership would overfeed them and then leave them wanting. Plus Daiki liked to imagine having time off. If he had something to do with free time, he might actually take it.
Drawing had always been his go-to. Even back when he was living with his grandfather in Inari. His grandfather ran one of the souvenir tea shops, so growing up meant every Monday began before dawn. He helped haul the supplies up the mountain, and then he’d run down the steps to get to school on time. When Daiki was old enough, his grandfather would usually stay the week. Daiki had been lonely until he found drawing and an entire world opened to him.
He adjusted his fox hat to cover his ears and allowed himself to sink deeper into the storyboards.
BEEP! BEEP! Beep!
It couldn’t be time already. How was that possible? The day had flown by.
Daiki stopped the alarm and gathered his things. “I’m off to meet with the editor. Tonight at dinner, please order without me.”
“Don’t forget this.” Akihiro rushed to the door, and handed Daiki his brand-new electronic drawing pad.
Daiki slipped the device into his messenger bag, next to other drawing supplies. “The train ride would have been long without a drawing app on a screen larger than my phone. Thank you.”
When Daiki caught the train, the car wasn’t crowded, so he sat down. He had made this trip many times over the last decade, but what if the publisher was meeting to tell him they were cancelling his series? Storyboards of how the event would play out flashed before him. The end scene was him leaving the meeting and walking home in the rain.
Then before he wrote The End, an imaginary Hironori leaned against the wall of his mental storyboard. His dialogue bubble said, “Let them. There’s a ton of other publishers and editors who want you.”
In the next story window, Hironori took a long drag on a cigarette. The cut of his chin was a bit too sharp, but the cigarette dangling from his lips gave the image a hazy sexual look. Lower on the page, Daiki envisioned Hironori staring at him. The dialogue bubble said, “Business is business. Your mangas sell.” The final picture read, “But check your investment and savings accounts.”
He shook himself. His life was not a manga, but somehow that’s how he saw it… and someone else was drawing his story.
The train arrived at the station. As he passed the station restaurants and food shops, his stomach growled. Did he forget to have lunch? He turned at the newspaper stand and zigzagged up the steps to the street level, avoiding people.
The bustling road was filled with people hurrying home from their long day.
Daiki made the quick trip down the street, past the shopping center and an office building. He ducked his head as he entered a restaurant, then headed straight to the back room where the editor held her meetings. The only thing that changed was the prices on the menu. Now that he was a brand, each of his publishers treated him to nicer meals when they met.
“Nice to see you,” he greeted her.
Saito Azami, who liked cats more than people, welcomed him with her attempt at a friendly smile. “And you.”
He acknowledged her assistant, who gestured to the far chair. “Please.”
After sliding past both of them to get around the table, he sat down. He’d had hundreds of these meetings over the last decade, but each time worry skittered through him.
After they ate, Azami-san held out her hand. “Let’s see this week’s work.”
He pulled out his final sketches.
She skimmed through the pages with her red pen and gave him a few comments. Her assistant took a pass and asked a question or two. The editing ended with him having about an hour of additional work to do.
When he didn’t move to leave, she asked, “Is there something else?”
“Yes. We’ve talked before about the direction I want to take.”
Her quiet sigh indicated her frustration at his insistence. “It’s almost the start of the new year.”
Not for weeks, but he couldn’t give up on this. “All the more reason to clear the slate. I want to move away from outdated tropes. Drawing past the titillation of a gay romance to what it means to be gay in Japan. I want to use my stories to give validation and visibility to those who need it.”
She stood. “Give me some time. Let me see what’s out there.”
Standing, he gave her a more formal goodbye than usual or necessary.
It had started to drizzle, but at least the air wasn’t cold enough to turn the sidewalks into ice. He tightened his scarf and meandered back through the crowds and neon.
Should he have been firmer? No, he’d been clear, and she did say she’d look for something. That wasn’t a guarantee, but this exchange was the furthest he’d gone.
On the way to the train, he passed a semicrowded bar. People were smiling and laughing; he was tempted to stop in. Maybe he could…. But his assistants were waiting for him.
He hurried to enter the station and jogged down the stairs to the underground.
Chapter 2
WANT VISITORS? Sage got a text from the twins.
After editing his video, he was ready for a break, so he typed, Yeah.
Buzz us up.
Ryley Griffin—or Lee as they liked to be called—and Ryder Cage, aka the twins, were already outside. The twins, so nicknamed in high school because they were always together, had decided Sage was their best friend back in ninth grade, and he didn’t disagree.
Sage opened the door. With Lee in his leather skirt and band shirt and Ryder in their layers of black lace, they were polar opposites today, but they always fit together. “Lee, he/him pronouns today?”
“Well done, buddy. How did you know my pronouns are maleish today? My skirt or my lack of shaving?” Lee was gender fluid, and their pronouns changed with their presentation.
Sage rolled his eyes. “Combination.”
Ryder glided across Sage’s living room—slash bedroom slash dining room slash anything else he needed to live—and eased onto the sofa like the model they were and with far too much grace for the tiny apartment. Ryder was nonbinary and used them/they, though he/him pronouns didn’t bother them. “As much love as I have for you, Lee, your adherence to the binary to counter the binary doesn’t earn you points.”
Elbowing Lee, Sage added, “Or blowjobs.”
Lee simply shrugged and sighed.
“When are you going to move out of this place?” Ryder folded the sheets Sage had left rumpled under the cushions.
“What? I love my place.” He’d moved in right after high school. The microapartment wasn’t fancy, but the place was clean and safe.
“You sleep on the sofa,” Ryder pointed out the obvious.
“Because I turned the bedroom into my work studio.” Sage often repeated himself on this topic.
“It’s not like you couldn’t afford something with a second bedroom.” Ryder grimaced and scratched at a stain on the sofa’s armrest.
“You sound like my mother. I have what I need. I’m comfortable.” Sage didn’t want uber luxe to be comfortable. His apartment was what he as a studio drummer could afford, and he was good with that. It wasn’t that Sage had been untouched by the wealth and privilege he’d grown up with; he acknowledged his head start in life. But he wanted to make it on his own.
Lee shrugged and plopped down next to Ryder, who fussed with Lee’s leather skirt until it lay properly. “Are you done with your latest video?”
Frowning, Sage admitted, “Yeah. Still have to edit it, though.”
Ryder grinned. “What’s the topic?”
“Visibility or lack thereof.”
“Again…? Seems like you have a theme going. What is this, the third in as many weeks?” Lee pointed out the obvious.
Sage paced from the galley kitchen to his favorite chair and crashed into the softness. “Fourth, but who is counting?”
“Look, had you not raised the issue, we wouldn’t have known how tenuous the situation can be for gay/queer idols in Asia, or anywhere for that matter.” Ryder gave Sage’s knee a squeeze.
Sage sighed. “There’s still so much to say about how being queer shouldn’t limit what you’re able to accomplish in your career. Your band shouldn’t dissolve like sugar in water just because someone is brave enough to be themselves.”
“Amen,” Ryder said without irony.
Lee gave him a nod. “Preach.”
Sage couldn’t stop himself. “Something needs to be done about this. I don’t have all the answers, but wouldn’t it be exceptional to see some openly queer people in a band and not have the labels ditch them? Having their fans stand by them and support them? This isn’t an Asian issue, a music issue, a writing issue, or even a gay issue. It’s a human issue. We all deserve respect.”
“Yup, we do.” Ryder smiled at him.
“The first step is visibility. Seeing and understanding leads to acceptance. I want to see real musicians with more talent than looks giving me music and lyrics from their very soul. I want those people to be both on and off the rainbow. I believe the fans are ready to embrace people on various stripes of the rainbow… because they themselves might very well be on the yellow brick road.”
Lee crossed his arms and turned to Sage. “So I guess you’ll be putting your trust fund where your mouth is.”
“Oh yes, of course he will. What should he wear?” Ryder waved the finger of judgment at him. “Certainly something better than this if you plan on being seen.”
“What’s wrong with jeans and a T-shirt? You told me they are fashion staples.” Not that he gave a shit, but Sage was all about taking less flak from the fashionista turned model. “And wait. Why am I putting my trust fund in my mouth?”
Grinning, Lee pointed at him. “You threw down a challenge with these vlogs. Are you telling me you will not pick it up?”
“Forming a band isn’t on my agenda. I live a comfortable life as a studio drummer.” Sage’s rock-and-roll dreams were a mere buzz in the back of his mind, one he’d shelved a long time ago.
Lee gathered up one of the stacks of books he’d piled on the coffee table. “These are new. Music Business for Dummies, Music Business 101, and why, look, all of these books appear to be about how to start a band. Imagine that.”
All Sage was doing was imagining, strolling down the “would never happen but if it did” path.
Ryder reached over and felt Sage’s forehead. “Are you sick? Didn’t you say on your vlog there should be more bands who were open and accepting?”
“How would I—what? You two think I could start a band?” That was ridiculous enough to make him chuckle, but the serious expressions on their faces stopped him.
“You are a drummer.” Ryder pointed to Sage’s hands, which were currently twirling drumsticks.
Excitement coursed through Sage, making the sticks spin faster. No, he couldn’t start a band. He tucked the drumsticks back under the cushion. “Studio drummer. Big difference from performer.”
Lee shrugged. “A drummer drums.”
Granted, he made a decent living off his studio gigs—and the bigger names were requesting him—but he’d never performed live.
“If you’re interested, we know someone who could help make this happen.” Lee was suggesting they could tap into their global network of friends.
Sage tamped down the excitement. It was a crazy risk. Besides, what did he know about starting a band—aside from a fuckton of research?
Caressing a hand down Lee’s arm, Ryder asked, “Are you thinking of—”
“Who else?” Lee smirked.
Ryder strutted to the fridge and grabbed a water, showing why every designer clambered for them to be on their runway. Freezing as if a photographer had given the order, Ryder tilted their head, making their long hair slip over their shoulder, and then asked, “Would he help? We didn’t exit on the best of terms.”
Patting the space next to him, Lee said, “It wasn’t the worst either.”
Ryder rejoined Lee on the sofa.
“Who are you two talking about?” Sage needed to take back the reins of this runaway conversation.
“We know someone who could help you launch your band.” They spoke in unison. It used to spook Sage when they did that, but he’d gotten used to it.
“Um, there is no band.” And why did stating that fact feel wrong?
Ryder laughed. “You keep saying that, but there is. There has to be. Otherwise how do you get visibility?”
Knotting his hair on top of his head, Lee said, “Sato, from the Miszuka photoshoot I did last year, can help set you on the right path.”
“Wait, didn’t you two date him?” His friends had an interesting dating philosophy, and as for sex, well, no need to go into their business.
“No, his brother. Let me text him.” Ryder’s thumbs were flying across his phone.
Lee nodded. “It’s all about creating a total platform so there’s a built-in fan base to follow.”
“I’m aware of how a platform works.” Sage rolled his eyes. He’d had to—wait, was he really doing this?
Ryder added, “You’re talking manga, anime, recording, then live shows?”
Chuckling, Sage tapped out a beat on his leg. He allowed himself to imagine his band giving validation for those who needed it. Nah. “You two are insane.”
Ignoring him, Ryder continued, “Also a social media presence, commercial spots, perhaps a game show or six. Japan loves game shows. A bit of light humiliation is always a turn-on.”
Lee arched an eyebrow. “Good to know.”
Wait, what? Dare he ask? “Japan?”
“Where else? Both your parents are from Japan. You know the language. Why would you start your band somewhere else?”
“I have no band.” How come the word “yet” was fighting to get out of his mouth?
“No, because first there should be a manga and maybe videos of the band forming.” Ryder giggled and waved Sage off with purple nails.
“I’ll shoot the videos, but which artist?” Lee asked as if clearing his intense photography schedule would be easy.
Sage argued, “You act like it’s that simple.”
Lee and Ryder studied him for a long moment. Then they shook him off like yesterday.
“Band name?” Ryder asked.
Snapping his fingers, Sage had that answer. “There’s only one name for my band.”
“And that is…?” Ryder asked.
“Kashi-sei. It means visibility in Japanese.”
“Perfect.” Giving him a kiss on either cheek, Ryder glided over to the door. “We’ll come up with some artists for you to consider in a few days and start the wheels turning on all the ins and outs of starting a successful band.”
Lee waved to him and followed Ryder.
How could he possibly start a band… and in Japan, no less?
Kashi-sei.
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