Love Is Love

Validation through Humiliation

“One important respect in which humiliation differs from embarrassment is that, whereas we bring embarrassment upon ourselves, humiliation is something that is brought upon us by others.” Neel Burton M.D. wrote The Psychology of Humiliation Aug 27, 2014 for Psychology Today.

In The Longest Night Benjamin is waiting for Foster’s arrival. Foster is not there at the set time. What takes this to the level of humiliation is everyone in the club witnesses Benjamin’s long wait because he’s doing so while on his needs. If no one was aware of Benjamin’s wait it may have only registered as annoyance at the “lateness” but everyone knows it.

Exclusive Excerpt from The Longest Night:

At 6:45, Benjamin stood next to last night’s table. A reserved sign and a digital clock rested there. A shiver of need passed through him at Foster’s forethought to make these arrangements.

This was on.

He dropped to his knees and adjusted his position. When happy with his display, he settled in to wait.

The hardness of the carpeted floor kept him centered on his purpose— to please Foster. Time ticked by as Benjamin reveled in the knowledge that Foster told him to do something and he submitted to the demand.

Members of Entwined gave him a wide berth, but he could feel their eyes on him. Some must wonder who he waited on. Was Foster watching him? He straightened his spine a little more.

He glanced at the clock—7:01 and no Foster. Maybe he wasn’t a Dom who was into being exact about time.

Another check—7:07. Benjamin’s knees were beginning to ache. The pain turned him on.

Still no Foster—7:13. Had Foster decided he didn’t want to do this? Maybe Benjamin wasn’t pleasing enough? Should he go?

Every second seemed like an hour and every minute a day.

At 7:16, doubt ate at him. Where was Foster? What had Benjamin done wrong?

When 7:20 arrived, Benjamin decided he’d wait all fucking night if he had to. He’d be worthy of Foster. If Foster wanted to test him, make him suffer, embarrass him, whatever Foster wanted, Benjamin would do. He’d earn the right to go into the back room and bend over for Foster.

At 7:23, his cock decided to lengthen in anticipation of all the delicious things Foster might do to him... or might not.

At 7:30….

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In this scene, we can see how embarrassment turns into humiliation and then morphs into reinforcement as Benjamin settles in. If and when Foster shows up Benjamin’s humiliation might turn into joyful celebration for overcoming humiliation. The entire scene of enduring humiliation might reinforce and validate him as a submissive.

Here’s the blurb to The Longest Night.

The holiday season is lonely for construction worker Benjamin Morgan, a big muscular guy who just wants to submit, obey, and serve. But the men he’s attracted to usually don’t have a dominant bone in their bodies. He’s done seeking his BDSM dreams with someone who isn’t interested in putting him in his rightful place—on his knees at their feet.

When a friend sets up a meeting with Foster Ridgeway at the BDSM club, Entiwned, Benjamin has his doubts. Of course he is attracted to bookish Foster, who works for the same construction company, but how will someone so small and delicate-looking master Benjamin? But when Foster--the tiny temple of dominance wielding a crop--heads toward Benjamin, he might get what he’s always wanted, just in time for Solstice.

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Again, please keep in mind: this blog is only one viewpoint.

Always seek your own truth.