Cue
the eye roll... Stay with me Pretty ones.
BDSM DOESN'T CURE EVERYTHING, BUT IT
DOES HAVE BENEFITS WHICH CAN PROMOTE HEALING.
(as always results will vary based on individual
differences)
1) Some people use BDSM as a break.
There's
no thinking/worrying/obsessing when you hit deep subspace. You're completely in
the moment. At times, it can be an almost meditative state (comparable to
yoga).
Top
& subspace or the flow as some refer to it reduces stress hormones.
>>> In Secured and Free, Orion has decided to give up BDSM and
one of the things he misses the most is this altered state where one lives only
in the present moment.
2) BDSM can release endorphins. Endorphins regulate pain, stress, and
cravings.
>>>
In Secured and Free, Marcus uses a bit of torment to help Orion through
his anxiety even discussing BDSM. One of the ways to get through anxiety is
alternate stimulation.
Excerpt
Marcus’s Cock Therapy:
“Oh God! Marcus!” Orion’s
head hit the back of the sofa.
Marcus spread the wetness
from the tip all over Orion’s cock. “God Marcus... that has a ring to it.”
He could be developing the first
ever cock therapy. Imagine all the difficult issues people could deal with as
he tormented their dicks. Nah, he liked the two dicks he had to tease.
3) BDSM strengthens bonds between couples.
There
was a study published a few years ago that suggested BDSM couples "felt
more secure in their relationships, and had an increased sense of well-being.
They were more conscientious toward others, more extraverted, more open to
trying new experiences, had decreased anxiety, and were less sensitive to
others perception. Interestingly, they were also more aware of their own sexual
needs but less agreeable. ((http://sexualhealth.about.com/od/sextherapy/ss/The-Health-Benefits-of-BDSM.htm))
I do believe the troupe of BDSM healing all is based in reality (at least
in my experience and opinion).
In Secured
and Free, during a submeeting a member explains how the use of a bracelet
that can be turned into cuffs is helping her deal with her extreme shyness.
This is a simple bracelet... but for someone with anxiety it can remind them of
the calm they experience when secured with rope as well as give them some of
the benefits BDSM has been shown to give.
And if the bracelet isn't enough of a reminder they open up into sturdy cuffs.
They come in various colors and designs. I worked with a charming man who
custom made these for me. His website is: Leather Wood Studios
This is an excerpt from Secured
and Free’s submeeting. Orion has given up on BDSM. A violation stole the
trust he needed to have to do a scene. After meeting Hunter and Marcus, Orion
longs to find a way back to BDSM...
Excerpt from Secured and
Free:
Circling the room before
taking his seat, Zack said, “I’d like to invite Erin to share.”
“Erin’s here?” “Erin’s going
to speak?” and variations on the question made its way around the room.
Applause broke out when she took the floor. She grinned. “Yes, Erin is here,
and I wanted to share.” Erin, a collared submissive who Orion rarely heard
speak above a whisper and who usually hid behind her wealth of red hair, had
more confidence than he remembered.
Erin rubbed two fingers
across a red leather bracelet decorated with a grouping of three black hearts.
“Most of you know about my severe anxiety.”
Her anxiety kept her out of
most play parties, sub meetings, and demonstrations because she couldn’t handle
the stimulation of a crowd. Seeing her stand and speak to about fifty subs in
attendance was nothing short of miraculous.
Throwing her wavy hair over
her shoulders, she said, “I don’t think I’ve found a cure for anxiety or
anything, but I found assistance.”
Most subs leaned forward.
She held out her braceleted wrist. “This is my secret weapon.” Ross
squinted. “A bracelet? It’s pretty and all, but—”
“It’s actually cuffs.” She
stepped over to Zack. “Would you please?”
“Of course.” Zack unsnapped the leather,
opened the bracelet into two bands of leather, and then resnapped the circles
so a loop wrapped around each wrist.
Erin held up her hands, which
were now cuffed, and tugged. “Now I know everyone views things differently.
Some people see bondage as....”
“Sexy and hot.”
“Punishment,” a newbie called out.
“Allowing
the sub’s beauty to be displayed, and a way of creating living art,” Zack, who
was one of the best in Japanese erotic bondage, added.
Erin nodded. “It’s different
for everyone. For me, when my Mistress and Master put me in bondage, it’s like
a day at the spa.”
Orion blocked out the envy
and the wishes of his rope-laden fantasies. He’d heard tales of Hunter’s
prowess with suspension work. Oh, the positions—stop!
He refocused on Erin. “As
soon as the ropes start to wrap around me, I relax. I trust Mistress Jess and
Master Ralph will take care of everything, and I can just be.”
Sam grinned. “So how does the
magic bracelet work?”
Erin giggled. “It’s not
magic, but wearing it allows me to access a bit of that calm I experience when
in bondage. Each morning my Mistress and Master will call me over to them and
put the bracelet on me. They both tell me to remember I’m loved and safe.” She
shrugged. “I’ve been able to do more and more stuff that my anxiety used to
stop me from doing.”
“The bracelet puts you in
subspace?” Sam asked.
Orion had gotten tiny tastes
of subspace while having Hunter and Marcus sex him up.
“Um... not really...
maybe.... It lets me remember that heavenly place and gives me a relaxed
feeling. Even though I’m still nervous standing here. Talking to a group was
never something I’d have done ever before.”
“Where did you get it?” Orion
didn’t realize he’d asked a question until Xander’s intake of breath threatened
to draw all the air in the room out, and his stare was burning a hole into
Orion.
“They’re starting to sell
them at Entwined’s store. Again, I don’t think they’re magic. It’s just
something that helps me. And I wanted to share.” She smiled at Zack and held
out her wrists. “Please. Thank you.”
People wanting to touch the
bracelet and ask questions circled her. Xander leaned in. “Do you want one of
those? Would that help?”
“I’m not sure.” But after
this weekend, Orion might be willing to try. He pushed away ashes of suspension
work he’d seen in the past. His craving to have Hunter tie him while Marcus
tormented him in a delicious way rode him hard. There had to be a way for him
to get there.
Entwined
Dreams: Book Two
An abusive
Dom robbed Orion Gordon of his love of BDSM, destroying his confidence and
leaving him unsure he’ll ever find peace through submission to another. Still,
deep inside, his longing continues.
Marcus Sadir
loves Hunter Dixon, yet can’t be the one thing Hunter truly desires: a sub to
control. And Hunter can’t find satisfaction in the sadistic aspects of the BDSM
lifestyle, while Marcus thrives on inflicting and sharing pain. When Marcus
convinces Hunter they should find a third on a permanent basis, they discover
Orion might be the key to bridging their differences and joining them on a
deeper level.
But they
must help Orion move past his trauma enough for him to enjoy new facets of BDSM
and kink again. Their journey toward becoming whole—together—won’t be without
challenges. Can Orion trust enough to try again?
BUY
LINKS:
ebook:
https://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/books/secured-and-free-by-z-allora-8511-b
paper:
https://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/books/secured-and-free-by-z-allora-8512-b
Many people take issue with
the idea BDSM can heal. That’s fine… for some people maybe it can’t
assist them, but I’ve used aspects of BDSM in my day to day life and have found
it makes me happier and healthier. Did it solve my problems? No, but the
practice gave me a break from anxiety, and in some cases the courage and
strength to deal with issues in a more productive way. Again, everyone’s
different.
Many Hugs,
Z. Allora
