Pretties:
You ever want to go to Bangkok for a little R & R? I can take you there and you don't even have to leave the comfort of your house.
I know you don't usually read transgender romance... but I wanted to share the first chapter of Illusions & Dreams with you.
Chapter
One
A
HIGH-PITCHED shriek of pure frustration hurt Randy’s ears.
“I
know you dress up to play a girl on stage! But I dress as a woman because
that’s who I am!”
The
scream ripped through the nearly empty club. Service staff scattered, leaving
Randy and Jake standing alone at the entrance to the empty Illusions &
Dreams club.
Randy
peeked farther into the hallway. The air conditioning cooled his face while the
heat of Bangkok still heated his back. Jake glanced over at him with a
questioning look. Maybe this wasn’t a first-rate idea.
Jake
opened his mouth and shut it before any words came out. The red curtains
covering one of the doorframes fluttered open.
A
man dressed in a colorful skirt swirled around the bar area. His muscular chest
was bare except for a coconut bikini top he was tying with a pink ribbon.
He
froze when he saw them in the doorway and adjusted the two coconut halves into
the proper location on his chest. “Oh, my.”
The
guy in front of them appeared to be in his late twenties or early thirties. His
age was difficult to tell. Like most Thai men they’d met thus far, he was quite
attractive and ageless. His large brown eyes were made up and his silky black
hair twisted up with flowers. He had to be part of the show.
He
turned toward where the shouting had come from and frowned. Sighing, he pasted
on a forced smile and seemed to pretend nothing was wrong. “Hello, my dears.”
Randy
and Jake were early, but Randy hoped the guy would let them wait until the restaurant
opened. He promised himself it was the last time he’d let Jake talk him into a
cheaper fare. Changing planes once sucked, but three times over the last two
days had left him dazed and confused.
After
they’d finally landed in Bangkok, when Jake suggested a quick shower before
heading straight to Illusions & Dreams for a show, he didn’t argue. He
wasn’t in the mood to fight the traffic in a cab or climb the stairs to the Sky
Train just to go back to their hotel to wait for the show, so he hoped the guy
would have mercy on them.
Jake
greeted the flowered man as they stepped fully into the cooled room. “Hey.
Everything all right in here?”
The
man appeared out of sorts. He glanced behind him at the curtain again, his
false smile fading. He must have realized they’d heard at least part of the
argument.
“So
sorry you had to hear that.” He gave them a shrug and a sad smile. “Finding
one’s soul mate is no guarantee of life and love being easy.” His eyes widened
as if he’d just realized they were clients and not his therapists.
He
cleared his throat. “I’m Adirake, co-owner of this wonderful establishment. The
show isn’t for another two hours, and the restaurant and bar don’t open for
another thirty minutes.”
Adirake
stared at them for a moment as if he were waiting for them to leave. Randy had
no intention of facing that hellish heat until he was forced to, so he stood
his ground.
Adirake
readjusted a drooping flower in his hair and sighed. “Wait one minute.”
Jake
crooked his head at Randy and gave him a questioning, wide-eyed look.
Adirake
turned in the direction of a red door and bellowed, “Tong!”
A
distant indistinct grumble rolled through the club.
“Tong!”
Adirake wailed loudly as he smoothed down his skirt with a quick flick of his
hand.
“What?”
A disembodied, annoyed voice asked before a lovely woman appeared, encased in a
sheer black gown with layers of silk that hid her full charms. “You shrieked,
Adirake?” The woman batted her eyes coyly at him.
Adirake
jerked his head toward Randy and Jake. The beauty had her hair smoothed into a
light brown chignon. She followed Adirake’s pointing finger and noticed them as
customers.
Not
missing a beat, she raised her voice up into the female range. “Well, hello.
You two are early.” She glared over at the co-owner and jerked her head toward
the door. “Areva is upset. Go deal and I’ll take care of these lovely men.” She
fairly purred as she pointed to them with her exceptionally long red nails.
Jake
mumbled something, but Randy ignored him, captivated by the drama as it took
place in front of him. Jake got his attention by elbowing him, grinning with
mirth at the compliment.
“She
thinks we’re lovely.”
Rolling
his eyes, Randy griped, “Jake, grow up.” He couldn’t have gotten through the
past few years without his best friend, but sometimes he prayed maturity would
rain all over Jake. But alas, there had been a drought.
Jake
made a face at him. Usually Randy didn’t mind Jake making light of any
situation, but not now. Randy was in the club where the singer he craved sang.
He wiped his hands on his pants and glanced around.
Ever
since their first conversation about Thailand months ago, Randy had been
researching the terms kathoey and ladyboys. He had discovered that the
Thai people considered kathoey to be a third sex. Kathoey were
popular in the entertainment industries—all types of amusements—but he didn’t
want to think of his singer in those terms. Unlike the transgender community in
America, who mostly wanted to live their lives quietly and not be noticed for
being different, Thai ladyboys seemed to want to shine for those differences.
Randy’s
singer did more than glimmer¬—she practically sparkled when she sang. He
couldn’t wait to watch her perform in person.
Tong’s
wiggle drew his attention to the present as she made her way around the bar in
a soft sway. “My name is Tong. We aren’t open yet, but let me get you settled.
It’s too hot to send you back outside. Right this way.” Her hips had a nice
roll, made more evident by the way her black dress clung to her round bottom.
She
settled them at a corner table, where the smell of basil wafted through the
air, and handed them drink and food menus. “Will you boys stay for the show?”
she asked, smiling prettily at both men.
“Yeah!”
Randy fairly shouted. He flushed, and he added more quietly, “I mean, yes.”
He
couldn’t help his excitement; Randy’d waited so long to see his singer.
Finally, he’d see her show in person.
He’d
lost hours to YouTube watching documentaries exploring the ladyboy culture and
shows from all over Thailand, but it was the impressive Illusions & Dreams
performance that mesmerized him the most. Those pictures and video clips he’d
seen online remained with him, especially of one performer in particular.
Meeting her was probably a long shot, but he had to try.
Randy
noticed Jake studying him with interest as if trying to figure him out. Good
luck with that.
In
the span of their ten-year friendship, Jake had made it his mission to hook
Randy up and get him laid. He’d dragged him to strip clubs for lap dances,
which Randy found unappealing. Jake, comfortably pansexual, had even coerced
Randy into going to an all-male revue to see if he could get a rise out of him,
but failed. Randy drew the line at a new BDSM club Jake wanted to check out.
Jake’s determination to help Randy find some “temporary happiness” seemed to
top his agenda. Randy found it sad that “temporary happiness” was the only
thing Jake claimed to trust.
Illusions
& Dreams seemed to be the classiest ladyboy club in Bangkok. Most clubs
appeared to be a thin veil for prostitution. This club, according to
TripAdvisor, provided real honest-to-goodness talent. The performers weren’t
prostitutes, but entertainers, or so the past clientele had claimed in their
reviews.
“I’ll
be back to take your order in a bit when the kitchen opens.”
Tong
slowly undulated away. Randy stared at the menu as the kitchen door swung open,
allowing the smell of garlic and mint to hit his nose. The scent made his
stomach growl.
“’Kay,”
Randy shook his head. It hit Randy. They were in Thailand.
“She’s
a ‘ladyboy.’”
Jake
apparently felt the need to inform Randy, like he was a remedial student. As if
Randy could’ve missed her unique energy.
“No
kidding.” His gaze tracked across the room to ensure he didn’t miss anyone who
happened to wander in. He shifted in his seat and caught Jake gawking at him.
“Never
seen you”—Jake gestured toward Randy—“all aflutter.”
“I
am not all aflutter.” Randy sighed, and a big grin lit up his face.
“Okay, I am a bit.” Jake’s rude laughter made him add, “A bit, damn it.”
Jake
thumbed the trail of silver rings around his ear, making them click together.
“Dude, I’m glad to see something interests you. We’ve been friends for what?
Ten years? And you’ve never looked with interest at another person.”
Choosing
not to correct his false assumption, Randy went for a slam. “Yeah, well, maybe
if you’d have better conversation skills….”
“Fuck
you,” Jake tossed back with no malice as he leaned his chair back onto two
legs.
“Not
my type,” Randy teased.
Randy
froze as the enticing creature he’d watched via the Internet floated in. In the
flesh, the object of all his recent fantasies, Lalana Dulyarat appeared. Her
shiny hair flowed to the middle of her back in a silken waterfall. A few strands
were artfully arranged over her full breasts. Her kissable lips pursed. She was
feminine, but something in her energy told the truth of her genetics. She was
breathtaking.
“She
more your type?” Jake goaded as he put his chair back on all fours.
The
online images barely did her justice. “Ah. Um. Yeah.” Randy was completely
entranced by the vision, close enough to reach out and touch. He started to
wonder if he might be a pervert. He’d gone hard from gawking at her smile at
someone else.
Behind
the tall beauty followed a young, adorable little waif, who giggled at
something the singer said. They stopped in their tracks when they unexpectedly
spotted the two men sitting at the table.
The
waif whispered to the other and wiggled her way over to their table. Randy’s
fantasy, Lalana Dulyarat, reached out to stop her friend’s forward motion but
missed, so Lalana quickly trailed after her, trying to slow the pace. But
Lalana’s determined friend kept ducking out of reach of her hand.
Randy’s
singer glared at her friend with a touch of censure when they reached the
table. The waif seemed paralyzed as she stared at Jake with her mouth open.
Lalana held out her delicate hand to Randy, purposefully bumping into the
little one next to her as if to knock her out of the Jake-induced trance she’d
fallen under.
As
he clumsily stood, Randy wondered if he should kiss the petal-soft hand
proffered to him, but decided on a light shake.
“Greetings,
sir,” a melodic voice chimed.
Randy
gazed into Lalana’s eyes, getting lost in their depth until Jake cleared his
throat.
“Oh.
Hello. I just… you are….” He wasn’t making a goddamned bit of sense, and he
should probably let go of the gorgeous lady’s hand. But he couldn’t. “I’m Randy
Camster.”
“An
American.” She said “American” like his nationality wasn’t a question, but
Randy nodded anyway. She arched one perfectly manicured eyebrow and gently drew
her hand back. “You’re too early for dinner.”
Jake
reached out to take the smaller girl’s hand and bought it to his lips smoothly.
The twentysomething barely held in her squeal. “I’m Jake O’Neil. I’m very
pleased to meet you.”
Randy
wished he had his best friend’s flair with other people. Instead he just stood
there, mute, as the younger girl appeared near to a swoon.
She
leaned into Lalana, who pursed her lips and shook her head. Glancing back up to
Randy and Jake, she said in a silky voice, “I am Lalana Dulyarat. And this is
Ms. Boon-nam Rattanawong.”
Randy
finally found his voice. “I know. I, um, found you on the club’s website, Ms.
Dulyarat. You’re even more lovely in person.”
Did
that sound stalkerish? He probably shouldn’t mention he knew she was single.
He’d conversed with a number of bloggers on travel websites as recent as last
week to confirm. Not that he’d even the slightest shot in the dark to get a
date with her, but he’d at least ask.
“Oh,
how very nice of you to say so. Please call me Lalana.”
Lalana
uttered the words with such practice, Randy could tell it wasn’t the first time
she’d heard compliments from a panting male fan.
Jake
grinned at Boon-nam, who seemed focused on him. “Are you ladies in the show?”
Boon-nam’s
eyes remained glued to Jake. She nodded absently and said something in Thai.
Lalana
tsked and answered, “Yes, we are.” Lalana nudged Boon-nam. “English,
Boon-boon.” Turning back to the men, she asked, “Will you be staying for the
performance?”
“Yes.
Oh, yes. We wouldn’t miss it, right, Jake?” Randy answered immediately, smiling
at the vision who haunted his dreams.
Boon-nam
tugged Lalana down so she could whisper while her brown eyes remained focused
on Jake. After hearing what her friend said, Lalana exhaled. She glared down at
Boon-nam, who looked away from Jake to give the taller woman pleading puppy
eyes.
Sighing,
Lalana said, “Good, maybe we will see you afterward?” She dragged Boon-nam
gently toward the door to the left of the stage.
Randy
panicked, hoping for Jake’s intervention. He had to ensure he would see her
again. This couldn’t be their only exchange.
He
knew he could count on Jake’s experience. “Drinks?” Jake called out.
Boon-nam
answered happily. “Yes. Meet us at the bar at ten o’clock.”
Lalana
must have yanked her a bit roughly through the red door because Boon-nam
vanished instantly.
After
the ladies disappeared behind the door, Randy turned to Jake. “Thanks.”
“No
problem.” Jake grinned at Randy and stifled a yawn. “Drinks at ten.”
Randy
nodded as if he were trying to snap himself back to reality. “That’s like a
date, right?”
“Indeed.
Just like.” Jake rocked back in his chair, twisting his silver thumb ring as he
assessed Randy a little too closely.
Oh,
shit! “I haven’t had a date in… hell, forever.”
“Then
it’s long overdue.” Jake slapped him on the back.
Randy
drew in a long inhale.
The
ambience changed, and Randy waited for the warning. He knew Jake didn’t want to
pop his bubble, but he was going to say what he felt he needed to.
“You
do understand those girls used to be boys? And they might still have their
twigs and berries.” Why did Jake find it necessary to hammer home this fact?
Jake continued. “I’m fine with it. I mean, a hole’s a hole.”
What
the hell? “Do you always have to be so crass?”
Leaning
forward, Jake shrugged. “Just a realist, my friend. I don’t dress up sex with
emotion.”
This
was a discussion for another time. “Your point?”
“Just
that.” He actually appeared uncomfortable. “I don’t want you getting a
surprise.”
To
be fair, Jake didn’t know of Randy’s research. He’d been well versed in the
facts, and if he were honest, maybe it accounted for a little of the appeal.
While he found other transgender people attractive, he didn’t have the same
response as he did to Lalana.
Lalana
pulsed with vibrant energy, drawing Randy to her. Whatever she had or didn’t
have under her dress didn’t matter all that much to him. As insane as it
sounded, he felt a connection with her. A nonstalkerish connection, he amended.
Jake
sat back hard in the chair and waved his hands in defense. “Hey, man. No issue
for me. You know my cock is all about equal opportunity. I’m nondiscriminatory
when it comes to fucking. Cock, pussy, mouth, or ass, it’s all good.”
“It’s
not always about sex.” Randy’s hands itched to shake some sense into Jake, but
he didn’t have that kind of time.
Jake
chuckled. “Yeah, actually it is. Love is a fairy tale people convince
themselves exists, so they can fuck like bunnies without the guilt society
would heap on them. I say just fuck whoever you want and leave emotion out.”
Randy
snorted. “Like a furred hole in the wall.”
Jake
slapped his hand against the table. “Come on. I’d been drinking, was drunk
perhaps. It was that one time… I think.”
Randy
laughed harder at Jake’s confession. “You’ve no shame. You had relations,
literally, with a hole in the wall.”
Jake
grinned as he leaned across the table to grab the saltshaker and spin it
around. “I’m sure one of the guys purposely lined it with fur. Whatever, man. I
was hornier than fuck, and it was tight.”
“What
does that even mean?” Jake exasperated Randy, but he’d gotten used to the
idiot.
Jake
cracked up. “Does it matter?”
“Probably
not,” Randy glanced toward the door Lalana had disappeared through.
“I’m
an ‘any port in a storm’ kind of guy.”
Jake
pretended he was totally nonselective in his choice of partners and that “safe,
sane, and consensual” were his only standards. But Randy had never bought his
line of bullshit.
“Only
requirements are hot and tight. I guess I didn’t know you were ready to swing
in other directions.”
Randy
shook his head. “Chances are neither one of us will be swinging anything.”
Jake’s
laugh barked out. “This is Bangkok, baby, Bangkok! Why do you think they call
it Bang Cock?” Jake’s face was an open book, which displayed each and every one
of his obscene thoughts.
“You’re
crazy, you know that?” Randy cracked up, but was glad the ladies weren’t there
to witness Jake being uncouth.
“Yeah,
I know. But you love me anyway. You can’t help yourself.”
True,
but Randy didn’t have to admit it. Jake was a great friend and always made him
laugh at life. Even when life had been dismal, Jake had always been quick with
a joke to make him smile.
“Okay,
back to the situation at hand. Didn’t know you had a hobby.”
What
was he talking about now? “Huh?”
Jake
laughed. “You know, the whole Internet-stalking thing?”
Randy
dropped his voice, not wanting to be overheard. “Screw you. I did a little
research and watched the clips of Ms. Dulyarat singing.” When Jake clearly
wasn’t buying his watered-down version of reality, Randy added, “A couple of
times.”
“Ha!
Couple of hundred, maybe.” Jake saw he was right when Randy felt his face go
red. “Whatever, man, no worries.” Slapping him on the back, Jake asked
seriously, “You like her?”
“No.
Yeah. I mean, I know I don’t know her, but there’s a vibe, a connection between
us or something.” He rubbed his forehead, which started to hurt.
Jake’s
expression spoke his disbelief so Randy simply tuned out his words. Sighing, he
rambled on, “Shut up. I know it’s crazy. But now I’m seeing her at ten.”
Holy
hell, he was meeting her in less than four hours! “What do I say? I mean, she’s
way out of my league. What do I talk about with her?” In comparison to the
glamorous and talented performer, Randy’s life was a snore. “How can they speak
English perfectly?”
Jake
grinned as if he enjoyed Randy’s spin of crazy rapidly turning into panic.
“See. There you go. Your first topic of conversation.”
Before
Randy could smack his ex-best friend in the head, Tong reappeared. “What can I
get for you?”
Jake
ordered the pad Thai with a Thai beer. Randy ordered the same, because he
couldn’t form thoughts beyond the gorgeous creature he’d be seeing at ten.
Tong
turned and almost slammed right into a muscular man behind her. “Oh, sorry,
Jaidee.”
Randy
was struck by how satiny and soft her voice could be. She was probably a singer
too.
This
Jaidee’s hands went around her waist to ensure she didn’t stumble. “No
problem.”
Tong
seemed almost to swoon from the sound of his voice. The drama unfolding before
them riveted Randy. The guy’s hands lingered longer than necessary, and his
eyes held Tong’s for several heartbeats as if he were going to say something.
Tong
cleared her throat and stared at the floor before she confessed, “While you
were away, I, um, I missed you.”
Jake
was busy checking his phone and completely unaware, but Randy watched Tong melt
like ice on a scorching-hot day.
Randy
wondered if Jaidee was that toned from hours of dance and performing or if he
was a gym rat. Hell, Randy should’ve hit the gym if that’s what surrounded
Lalana all day.
“Did
everything work out as Adirake planned?”
The
transformation in Tong’s demeanor surprised the hell out of Randy.
“Yes,
the brother and sister are over at Thai Haven. The restaurant owner is a friend
of Areva. He’ll be teaching them how to wait tables and give them a job.”
When
Jaidee turned to go, he hesitated. “I missed you too,” he said before he
hurried down the hallway toward the stage door.
Aw,
that’s sweet.
Tong
didn’t move until Jaidee was out of sight. Then she must have noticed she had a
captivated audience of one, because she turned to Randy and shrugged. “I’ll
place your order with the boys in the kitchen, and I’ll get the beers for my
two early birds.”
When
she brought the two beers to the table, her sympathetic expression told Randy
she’d overheard him obsessing over their upcoming date.
“So,
I mean, what else do I talk to her about? She’s lovely. What is she looking
for?”
“You’re
winding yourself into a ball of anxiety. Just calm the fuck down.” Jake
grimaced. “What do they want? It’s not even a date, for Christ’s sake. You just
pay for their drinks. That’s what they want.”
Tong
cleared her throat to get Randy’s attention. “Romance.” She sat down at their
table with their beers. “Even though my love life is nonexistent, at least I
can give some unsolicited advice.”
“What?”
Jake questioned her.
Randy
knew Jake well enough to know that he clearly didn’t like her sitting her ass
anywhere she pleased. But Tong was secure in her place. She’d been here before
Jake had arrived, and she would be here long after he left. Her posture almost
dared them not to appreciate her crossed legs. Jake leered at them and relaxed
back into his chair.
She
smiled at him. “Romance. These girls crave romance. Their dreams are like those
cheap happily-ever-after romance novels. They want a knight in shining armor to
love them. To sweep away the miseries of the past and help them enjoy the
sunshine of the future.”
Not
one to kiss anyone’s ass, Jake chuckled. “Yeah, I’m sure a nice little bauble
taking a chunk out of your bank account would suffice as romance.”
Tong
frowned.
What
the hell is wrong with him? Usually he could ignore Jake’s
twisted view of love, sex, and relationships, but Tong knew Lalana, and Randy
didn’t want her to blow him off because his friend was a jackass. Randy kicked
Jake under the table.
“Ow!
Randy! What? It’s true.” Staring at Tong, Jake asked, “Aren’t a few expensive
trinkets excellent substitutes for true love?” The way he said love made
the word sound tawdry and dirty.
“What
do you mean?” Tong’s tone suggested she was daring Jake to say exactly what she
clearly expected him to say.
“Come
on. Who do you think you’re talking to? I mean, these places have the
reputation of being high-class brothels,” Jake stated as if it were a matter of
fact.
Randy’d
read that most clubs tried to get clients to fall in “like” with the performers
and convince them to buy expensive gifts and trinkets. Sometimes the performers
would even ask for money outright for their supposed families still in the countryside.
Embarrassment
flashed across Tong’s face before she regrouped. “Actually, that’s not what
Illusions & Dreams is about at all. Our girls and boys are well paid, get
their educations, and are well taken care of. We aren’t looking for a man to do
it for us.” Sniffing in annoyance, she appeared to want to punch the
knucklehead in the teeth.
Jake
snorted. Randy shook his head and made the toe of his shoe find Jake’s shin
again. Tong grinned at Jake’s yelp of pain right before Randy apologized.
“Please
don’t be offended. My friend can be an ass sometimes. He was dropped as a
baby.” Randy smiled and held out his hand. “I’m Randy, by the way.”
“Pleased
to meet you. I am Tong.” She smiled at Randy and delicately grasped his hand to
shake. “The girls here are looking for love and romance.” Standing, she said,
“At least, until they grow up and realize it doesn’t exist.”
Randy
stood up politely. “Oh, but it does.” He grabbed her hand back as if he were
going to convince her. “Truly it does,” he told her adamantly.
Tong
took the time to examine his sincerity. “Ah, you poor naïve thing. You still
believe in happily ever afters. I really hope you’re right.”
As
she hurried back to the bar, out of the corner of his eye, Randy witnessed
Jaidee’s head duck back behind the stage door.
