Thursday, February 28, 2019

Nonbinary & Gender Fluid



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Zombies Coming has a nonbinary character and a gender fluid character. It was fascinating to see how each of these two people being mates navigated the current. While Erick stuns the binary  Cassidy clings to it flowing between male and female and in doing so reinforces the binary stereotypes. So, watching how each respected the other was (in my opinion) quite lovely and rather romantic.

Erick is nonbinary (meaning doesn’t buy into the male female binary) He is AMAB (assigned male at birth.) His brain is more on the female spectrum according to societal norms than male. Even though nonbinary is under the T (transgender) stripe of the rainbow it doesn’t mean he needs to physically transition with surgery or hormones… though someone else might want to do so.

At times, Erick wears what society considers female: a skirt, heels or nail polish. Erick considers himself gay and at the end of the story still has not claimed different pronouns such as:  they, them or she, hers, her.

Meanwhile Cassidy who is gender fluid (meaning he flows from the male binary to the female binary) which he feels uncomfortable sharing because sometimes other zombies have accused him of being a gender fuck (playing with gender to annoy/confuse others.) Again, there’s an infinite spectrum of gender fluidity so people can identity as such but present very differently than Cassidy.

Cassidy flows between genders and you see this through his clothing. Though he always wears makeup because he feels better wearing it than not. Usually sexual situations cause him migrate toward the male end of the spectrum. He is AMAB (assigned male at birth), and considered himself gay until he started accepting his gender identity. By the end of the book he considers himself queer or pansexual because while on the female side of his gender and if he has sex with a man he didn’t feel that made him straight. He didn’t feel like straight fit because many times he was in the male binary so queer makes him most comfortable.

In general, when I meet a new person I usually ask which pronouns they use. I try not to assume their gender identity. Labels can change or evolve so asking is awesome.

Keep in mind the rainbow has infinite variations so people’s paths even on the same stripe might not look the same. They might embrace some labels but not others. It really doesn’t have to be complicated a simple respectful question accomplishes so much.

Many Hugs,
Z. Allora

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Insta-love on my 26th Wedding Anniversary


Insta-love relationships can be seen as negative. Well, they say write what you know… I know insta-love because I met the love of my life 31 years ago on Oct 20th. I took out a personal in a college paper (#LifeBeforeDatingApps).

I wrote:

RPI Male,
Are there any among you who believe in romance?
Candlelight dinners, roses, picnics, long walks under the stars…
Restore my faith in males—respond in the Poly.
L

Twenty-two guys responded to me. He responded:

L—
We’re out there. In fact, some of us have spent a good part of our lives searching for someone to bring roses to, make candlelit dinners for, and walk with under a starlit night. Some of us are still searching…
–S

He was the fourth guy I met through my personal ad. It was Oct 20th at 5:08pm.

At dinner he asked, “So what do you want out of life?”

I had to bit my tongue because I wanted to say “YOU!”

Twenty-five minutes after saying “Hello” I knew he was my soulmate. Now of course this put me in a tailspin. You can’t meet the man of your dreams in the personals! That’s just crazy romance novel nonsense, and not at such a young age.

For the next six months, I denied that we were meant to be. But even as I couldn’t quite believe this was my (our) reality I couldn’t let go of our bond. We dealt with family and friends who said we were too young and didn’t know any better. How could we possibly know we were meant to be together 25 minutes into our first date?








So, I stand before you and lay my 31 years of evidence (26 years of being married) at your feet and proclaim insta-love is not insane. It happens. Maybe it’s a rare thing but damn I throw myself and him down as proof rare doesn’t mean never.

In The Temple of Heaven, I wrote what I know. Jordon Davis and Tian Di Zhao meet and that’s it. Both of them fight everything society and family tried to make them believe and one kiss wiped away years of conditioning. They fall in love and each decide to hold tight no matter what that means. The two of them battle a homophobic society, overbearing and overly protective family members, and the disbelief that insta-love is real.




The Temple of Heaven Blurb:
Music is Tian Di’s life and his love, and he’s made plenty of sacrifices. His career is finally taking off with his band, Made in China, and he’ll continue to put music first... until he meets Jordon. Then insta- lust becomes insta-love and a commitment to the future—no matter how difficult it might be.
Jordon lives in a bubble constructed by his overprotective older brothers, who are so controlling that they’ve kept him from dating. A talented artist, Jordon managed to keep his success with a Japanese manga publisher a secret from his family, but now he fears discovery. It’s easier to let his brothers handle everything, but Jordon has reached his limit. He’s ready to draw some boundaries so he can be his own man and face all the challenges that come with that.
Their families and careers aren’t the only obstacles. Jordon must accept his identity as a gay man who doesn’t top or bottom. Fortunately, Tian Di—and his special talents—help Jordon open up to his sexuality in an erotic adventure that spans Japan and China, and with love, luck, hard work, and open minds, will end in a happily ever after.
BUY LINKS
Dreamspinner Press:

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Happy Valentine's Day

Whether you're in a relationship or not... take the time and love yourself.
Be kind to you.
Do something YOU want to do.
Take a moment to appreciate something good in your world.
I'm going to be lazy and send you to a link. LOL I'm in edits for Rocking Thin Ice. (Rock Star & Ice Skater) and I'm trying to race to finish The Longest Night BDSM Solstice novella before the end of the month.
Have a great day!

Here's a link to a History of Valentine's Day

Many hugs,
Z. Allora

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Gay In Singapore

The Straits Time (no pun intended refers to the Straits of Meluka) published an

55 per cent of Singapore residents still support gay law.

Gilaine NG wrote this article on Sep 11, 2018, 5:00 am SGT 




I remember being rather horrified with Singaporean friends reaction to the mention of gay men.
(Side Note: I gave the daughter a M/M romance novel... she rips through the series and wanted more and was pissed when two of the men didn't get together... BIG CHANGE! I truly believe we change hearts and minds with every page of M/M romance we write and read.)

I have yet to watch this but I'm too excited not to share this immediately.

People Like Us
"Based on the true-to-life characters, gayhealth.sg proudly presents ‘People Like Us’ the web series. Following the lives of four gay men in Singapore, ‘People Like Us’ is a poignant reflection and insightful look at being gay in Singapore. In addition to the sexual escapades and relationships that unfolds between them, the show explores critical health issues."


Remember when we watch this where Singapore is in their journey for equality. Every step in the right direction needs to be applauded!

I truly hope this show will help change hearts and minds.

Many hugs, Z.